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The Construction Worker was on his break, chatting with the other guys. They were taking a break from building a new 5 storey salon located beside La Pieta Memorial Park. They were just discussing about the building that used to be here before they demolished it. Apparantly it was called "Oh no you di-en't!" bar. Too bad, they could've used a drink right now... it was really hooooot...
It was so hot, in fact, that the Worker's vision was actually waving. Like, the hot rays of the sun were so hot that it made everything all wiggly-like. Everything was so wiggly that he didn't see the bulldozer..
A few minutes later, the ambulance had arrived and the paramedic was trying to strap the Worker onto that stretcher-like-bed-like thingy but the Worker's stomach was insanely large.
"I'm gonna have to add my belt to the strap!" said an exasperated paramedic (not Annika, she's just the driver).
After 12 painful and sweaty minutes, they finally got the Worker into the ambulance. The driver stopped at a red stoplight and sighed.
"Ohhhh, gosh... I need a smoke..." she said and took out a pack of cigrettes (she prefers Marlboro) and rolled down the window and called out to her car-neighbor "Hey! Gotta light?"
"Oh d-d-dear!" stuttered Piglet. "S-s-smoking is b-bad for your h-h-h-health!"
"Oh shrivel up and die, stupid pig!" said the ambulance driver and rolled down the other window to his other car-neighbor. "Gotta light?"
"Sure," said the American Dragon, Jake Long. He did some sort of 'blabla of the dragon' thingy and snorted flames on the cigarette.
"Thanks, pal." the driver said and rolled up the windows again. This was a pretty stupid idea, obviously because she was smoking. The smoke just accumulated in the front seats and soon enough, the driver couldn't see a thing. So she went on a blind rampage. She hit a trash can, broke a traffic cone, went underground and chased the subway, went up again and hit an old lady, jumping over the bridge over a river and landing on a cruise ship(on a river...?), crashed into a dinner party in the Multi-function Hall, popped out and landed on the other side, broke a see-saw, a slide and a jungle-gym, broke into the zoo, released a group of monkeys, three snakes and killed about 3 dozen fishes, broke out of the zoo, ran over an old lady and finally reached the hospital's ER.
"Okay, we're here!" she called to the back people. But apparently, they must've jumped out during Annika's rampaging. So now she was left with the responsibility of taking the Worker inside. She hopped off the driver's seat, walked around the vehicle and dragged the stretcher-like bed-like thingy towards the ER entrance.
"Annika! How many times do I have to tell you???" said the Nurse-slash-Receptionist-slash-ex-ProStriHooker, Imma. "NO SMOKING IN THE LOBBY!"
"Yeah whatever... I've got a patient.... needs... like... something... 'S' something..."
"Surgery?"
"Yeah, that's the one!"
"Where are the medics?"
"I dunno... jumped off somewhere on 5th street, I guess..."
"Okay, I'll have to ask the Doctor if he isn't busy..." Imma twirled around in her chair and dialed 687337 even though the doctor was just in the other room. "Hello, Dr.Paolo, Ph.D? Yes... are you busy? We need a surgeon."
"Well... I was playing with my knives and scissors... but I guess I could do one surgery. Who is it?"
"Uhmm... some construction worker working on--" the NurResepExProStriHooker gasped. "The new 5 storey salon!"
"OH NO YOU DI-EN'T!"
"Oh yes a di-id! He's the reason I had to get this stinkin' job in the first place!"
"May I interrupt?" suddenly came a Random Weird person who looked like she could be an ex-bartender. "If you really want to get back at him," she pointed to the unconscious, bleeding Worker, "allow me to speak to Dr.Paolo, Ph.D."
"Go right in, your Highness/your Greatness/ your Majesty (whatever floats your boat)!" praised Imma.
"Good afternoon, Dr. Paolo Urquico, Ph.D in Medical thingymajigger." greeted the Random Weird person.
Dr. Paolo laughed.
"Well if it isn't my old friend... and mastermind. What have you got planned for this one?"
"I think it is time that our other dear friend, Dr. Harvey Kim Ph.D in Education, gets a chance of his own..."
"Brilliant. How so?"
"I have his number. Tell him you are ordering... the Cheesecake... and give him my regards..." dramatically said the Random Weird person and handed him a calling card.
"Ooooh! Goody! It has a coupon..."
[Note: If you would like to see the original, contact me via Y!M or FS.]
So Dr. Paolo dialed the number on the card.
"Good afternoon, Dr. Kim, Ph.D's office, Menchie speaking." answered Dr. Kim's receptionist.
"Good aft, may I please speak to Dr.Kim, Ph.D?"
"May I ask who's calling?"
"His old friend, Dr.Paolo Urquico, Ph.D in Medical thingymajigger."
"Please hold on, he'll be with you in a minute." Paolo heard her put down the phone. "Dr. Kim! Dr.Paolo Urquico, Ph.D is on the line!"
"Thank you, Menchie... hello?"
"Dr.Kim. Greetings from our Dear Leader--mastermind! Not the dictator..."
"Ah, Dr.Paolo..." coughed Dr.Kim. "What can I do for you?"
"Apparently, she thinks it's your time to shine."
"Hold on a sec--" Paolo heard him sniff. "Excellent. I've been waiting for my time... especially since I switched to Rejoice... so.... who is the fortunate victim?"
"You'll be happy to know that it's a construction worker working on that 5 storey salon that destroyed 'Oh no you di-en't!'."
"I will have the utmost pleasure..." said Dr.Kim, voice cold with fury. "Did the mastermind say what she needed?"
"The Cheesecake..."
"Perfect. M-m-m-mu-mu-ah-ah-ah-ha!"
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At Dr.Kim's office, Dr.Kim was searching the very back of his cabinets for a special box. He found it, it was labelled 'Deadliest'. He took out a brown paper bag from the box, sniffed it (literally, not drugaddictively) and smiled. He then went out and told his receptionist, Menchie that he'd be going out to Mommy's Little Bakery.
But he didn't go inside the bakery. He went to the alley behind it and knocked four times. One of his drugmates went out.
"Yeah?"
"I need to bake this Cheesecake."
"Do you have something for me?"
Dr. Kim took out a smaller paper bag and handed it to the man. He sniffed it and nodded.
"I'll have it done in 45 minutes."
Dr. Kim checked his watch. It was ten past three in the afternoon (3:10PM for you dumbasses).
"Fine. As long as it's done by four."
"Yes, sir."
49 minutes later, Dr. Kim finally received his Cheesecake.
"What the hell took so long?"
"Sorry, maaaaan... I got sooooo... like... high..."
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"Delivery for Mr.... construction worker?"
"I'll take it..." said Imma, back at the hospital.
She walked (clak, clak, clak) to the patient's room.
"Look, sir! Someone sent you a cake!" she said to the unconscious Worker. "And he'll be coming any minute to spoon-feed it to you..."
"No neeed for minutes... I'm here." Dr. Kim stood at the door, his eyes hungry.
He opened the box... Imma covered her nose and ran (clakclakclakclak) out the door. Dr.Kim was unperturbed by the smell because he was used to smelling stuff already. The smell was so intense, it even woke up the Worker.
The Workers eyes watered at the smell and tried to breath through his mouth but Dr.Kim immediately covered it with his hand. Thrashing around and struggling, the Worker tried to scream but no sound came out.
"Don't bother..." whispered Dr.Kim. "No one can hear you... and even if they did, they wouldn't care..."
Dr. Kim took out a syringe and filled it up with cheesecake. The Worker struggled. Dr.Kim injected the cheesecake into the bloodflow of the Worker. Within seconds, he ceased his struggling, eyes rolling backwards, jerked uncontrollably for a while then stopped moving completely. The life support thingy beside the bed was just one long beep.
But then he jerked alive again.
"More! More! More!" he screamed.
Dr.Kim injected more.
The Worker stopped moving once more...
Dr. Kim smiled. "Finally... I can--"
"MORE! MORE! NNNNGGGG!"
"How RUDE!" Dr. Kim shoved a handful of cake down the Worker's pharynx. Unfortunately, the epiglottis wasn't working haha so the cheesecake also went down the trachea, or as Americal Idol auditioners pronounce it, the TRAY-shee-UH. The Worker choked, gagged, splurted, shuddered and finally laid to rest...
Dr. Kim smiled. He took out a fork from his coat and took a slice of cheesecake.
"Finally... it's my turn!"
Dr. Paolo, Ph.D came in, looked at the dead body and shook Dr.Kim's hand.
"So what was this 'cheesecake', a new kind of drug?"
"Actually, it's a literal cheesecake."
"What? So how did he die?"
"It's addictive. He wanted so much cheesecake so I shoved it down his throat. Unfortunately the epiglottis failed and he choked to death on cheesecake. So basically, I was doing him a favor. I fed him cheesecake."
"Veeery clever, Dr.Kim! I am surprised though that you didn't use REAL drugs... I never would've expected it from you..."
"Hmmm... yeah..." Dr. Kim nodded. "Here, you can have the cheesecake. Split it with your receptionist with the Stilettos... I have to get back to my students."
"Thanks!" said Paolo and followed Dr.Kim out to his lobby.
As he waved goodbye, he said to Imma. "Look! Cheesecake!"
"Yum!"
So they shoved cheesecake into their mouths... unbeknownst ;) to them, Dr. Kim was watching.
"Thaaat's riiiight.... eat the cheesecake..."
THE END
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Disclaimer: I do not own Piglet, or The American Dragon, Jake Long, Rejoice shampoo, or American Idol.
I do own:
The Misadventures of the Weird Bunch
Addicted to Cheesecake
© Ashley Magz Industries 2009
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Haha, this was the first episode with more than one picture. Oh, and Harvey won't do anything to Paolo and Imma, don't worry... so... who's next on the list?
Paolo
Harvey
Imma
Ashley
I'll try to draw the real comics soon.
1 comment:
wahahahahhaha
da 'Minchi' part made me laugh so hard hahaha
and i think u shudve made her speak in tagalog... haha its spelled menchie btw hehe
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