Murder at MacArthur Highway

To the reader: the CBSS is over but I still don't have an idea for a main plot so I am going to do this sort of... extra thing while I think of something.

Oh yeah, and starting now there will be actual Titles, not just numbers.

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PG15

(haha, it's weird coz I'M not even 15)
(but really, its gory and bloody and not for kids)

This story welcomes one of our original Weird Bunch, Imma.
She is portrayed as a psycho prostitute/stripper/hooker.

The characters are as follows:
Paolo - Murdering Surgeon
Harvey - Addicted Professor
Imma - Psycho ProStriHook
Ashley - Escaped Convict Mastermind Bartender
The Tutor - a tutor
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© Ashley Magz Industries 2009

Presents

At five minutes to midnight, the Tutor brushed away a tear. She was at La Pieta Memorial Park, mourning the loss of her best friend whom she loved.

She decided she must go home... she's been there since 7PM because she had to tutor students until 6:30PM, then all the traffic just GETTING there, and the amount of time it takes to walk to the gravestone... etc. etc.
At the entrance of the MemPark, she noticed a bar named 'Oh no you di-ent!'. Thinking she needed a drink, she entered tha bar.
T urns out this bar wasn't just a bar, it was also a strip club.
And this particular strip club was where Imma the ProStriHooker... stripped.

Upon entering this bar, the Tutor noticed multiple things:

One, the bartender looked surprisingly like that lady on the WANTED poster near the bathroom.
Two, she recognized that man on the corner, he was Dr.Urquico, the world-famous surgeon. Weirdly, he looked slightly crazy with his wide eyes and nonstop giggling. He seemed to be twirling something in his fingers under the table but the Tutor couldn't see it... He must be drunk... thought the tutor.
Three, she also noticed the man sitting beside her at the bar, he was Dr. Kim, Ph.D in Education. He was the professor of one of her tutorees(?), who said that he was usually sleeping during their class.
And lastly, she noticed the stripper up on the pole stripping and realized she was the student who got kicked out of school for stripping in the cafeteria.

The tutor shrugged off her uncomfortable feelings and turned to the bartender.
"I would like a drink, please."
The bartender just stared at her, popping her gum.
"Uhm... did you not hear me? I said I wanted a DRINK."
Pop. Chew. Pop. Chew.
"Regarding your popping gum! I mean... just give me any drink!"
The bartender prepared her a Long Island Iced Tea and turned away, still popping her gum.
What a weird bartender... thought the tutor. And is that... a MOUSTACHE? Groooss... I better finish up my drink and get out of here...
Yes, the creepy bartender had a moustache. And yes, she also wore glasses so thick that it was impossible for anyone to see through them. But that was because, of course, she was an escaped convict. She escaped from prison merely 4 weeks ago, sentenced to life in prison for breaking and entering into a retirement home.

The tutor sipped her drink and watched as the stripper stripped tirelessly. Dr.Kim, Ph.D beside her was sniffing quite a lot... he must've catch-ED--I mean... caught...a cold... she thought. And Dr.Urquico... weirldy... seemed to be glancing at her every now and then... and the bartender, too! She was starting to feel really uneasy...
There they look again!
They're both planning something!
They're were going to KILL her!
Or worse!
She must get out now...!
But her drink was only half-finished!
She couldn't leave just yet, they might realize that she knows and kill her right then and there!
Her heart was beating fast...
Palms getting sweaty...
Feeling slightly dizzy.... (and no, she's not in love)
"Yo."
Her heart jumped to her throat.
"Yo!"
It was the bartender, she was calling her.
"You di-ent pay for that drink, y'know?"
The tutor sighed. So she wasn't being killed.
She paid for her drink and turned back to watch the stripper.

After a few more sips of her drink, she noticed that they were looking at her again.
She reminded herself that she was just imagining it. But there was something in their looks...
The bartender took a step closer.
Her heart speeded up.
Another step.
2X Speed.
Now the bartender leaned her head towards her.
Oh no, oh no, oh no. She's going to do it!
"Deeeeeewd! You got a major zit on your upper lip!"
"W-what?"
"Gross! You'd better pop it soon. I heard that the guys in the bar don't like zits. And they can kill..."
The tutor jumped and ran to the bathroom.

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Unbeknownst to the tutor, the bartender and the surgeon were having a talk.
"The regular routine?" asked the surgeon.
"Hmmm.. let's add a twist, shall we?" smiled the bartender.
"Of what kind?"
"Tell our dear friend to get the good stuff..."
"The GOOD STUFF? But that might be hard to get..."
"Do not fret. We have lots of time..."
The bartender smiled evilly and walked away.
The surgeon, on the way back to his table, dropped his wallet.
He picked it up and went back to his table.
The bartender called to the stripper:
"We need you to do a 34-78-72-28 please, special request from our guest..."
"Purrrfect..." purred the stripper and started off on her dance routine.(And no, she is not half-cat or whatever...)
At the same time, the professor fell off his stool. Looking slighty demented, he stood up and sat back down.

In this mysterious series of events, you must have realized the plot by now. If not, allow me to say: "Pfff... looozuh" and continue reading.

0:01-0:06
"What the hell was that girl saying?? I have NO zits!" grumbled the tutor.
She opened the door to the hallway leading to the main bar when she was blocked by the stripper.
"How's it goin', daah-ling?" she asked all flirty-like.
0:07-0:17
"Uhm... fine, just fine." the tutor replied. She was determined not to develop a friendly relationship with the stripper because she knew she could never love anyone but her dead friend.
"Have you seen my..." she lifted her leg across so that she was blocking the way like a toll-gate or something... "Fishnet stockings?"
0:18-0:27
"Wow... they're lovely..."
"Yes, you should see my..." the stripped did a pose. "Lingerie."
The tutor looked away, why is this stripper flirting with me? Am I THAT irresistible? she so incorrectly thought.
The stripper stared at her for precisely 13 seconds.
0:41-0:50
The tutor stared back.
0:51-0:59
"Well, I'll see you on the other side," the stripper said and turned to walk away.
"What does that mean?"
"I mean I'll see you on the other side of this wall..." she replied, and under her breath she said ".... or not."

1:00

Stunned by this experience, the tutor walked back to her stool and looked around.
She'd been gone a couple of minutes and yet nothing has changed.
The bartender was still popping her gum, Dr.Kim, Ph.D, beside her was still sniffling, Dr.Urquico was still twirling and giggling and the stripper had resumed her position at the pole.
She turned to take a sip of her Long Island Iced Tea when she noticed something...
...She called for the bartender.
"Why did my drink get mucher?"
"What?"
"Why do I have more now than awhile ago?"
"Oh, I refilled it for you, dude. I know it's your first time so... it's on the house."
"Thank you!" beamed the tutor. Maybe these people weren't so bad after all.

Or Maybe They Were.

The moment her drink touched her tongue, she felt extremely sleepy. The last thing she could remember was her vision swirling and swirling... falling on the floor... the man beside her turning slowly.... the surgeon walking towards her.... the music stopping... and a tight grip on her upper arm.
Then she fell asleep.

She awoke minutes later, in a dark room. She could feel that she was tied up around the ankles. And she could feel herself swinging. She was tied to the ceiling by her ankles. Blood rushing to her head, she could make out 4 figures.
"I cannot believe you were so stupid." said one voice.
"You HONESTLY di-ent see this coming?" drawled Harvey. "You are such a loser, wumman! And I am soooo... wasted...."
"I don't think she did, Harvey. Let's explain to her."
By now the tutor knew who they were, obviously the two people she thought were trying to kill her in the first place, the bartender and Dr.Urquico, and the other two were her seatmate and the stripper.

"Let me begin with the moment you stepped into our bar..." said Ashley.
"You came in, at exactly 12 midnight. You sat directly in front of me, signifying that you are indeed a beginner, and demanded what you called a 'drink'. Assuming you caught on, you ordered any kind of 'drink' so I gave you a Long Island Iced Tea. The moment we saw you, we SO di-ent like you so we planned to kill you."

"Ashley was the brilliant mind in our master plan!" worshipped Imma. "She knows everything! She plans everything! She is the greatest! Wheeeeeee!"

"So I wanted to give you the impression that we were going to kill you. Paolo and I alternately gave you glances until you got nervous. Then I planned an alibi. Making you pay. Obviously, people pay their bills before they leave. You di-en't know that. You paid. It made you feel relaxed again, di-en't it? But then we started looking again... you got scared, again. You panicked when I came closer and felt relieved, once again, when I told you it was a zit."

"Hehehehehe! So you left for the bathroom! You idiot!" screeched the psycho prostrihooker. "You fell RIGHT into our trap laid by the great Ashley!"

"Indeed." continued Ashley. "Unbeknownst to you, we had a discreet meeting. I told Paolo to tell Harvey to get the good stuff-- the good Drugs, I mean. He knows all the best dealers. Paolo faked dropping his wallet, but secretly left a piece of paper with the name of the drug on the floor. Then I sent a message to Imma saying we needed a 34-78-72-28 which OBVIOUSLY dialed "DI-ST-RA-CT" and at the same time, Harvey pretended to fall off his chair because he was so wasted but actually picking up that paper Paolo left. But the problem was that it was hard to get the stuff and takes a minute to prepare. But he was quick. We sent Imma--"

"That's me! Hear me? IT'S ME!"

"--to seduce you because I OBVIOUSLY know you've been visiting your best friend every night for the past 6 months and that you like girls. And it worked. You came back, fell for my trick about refilling your glass, took a sip because you felt you should and here we are."

"Yes..." breathed Paolo, speaking for the first time. "And now it's all up to me... I can't believe the great Ashley gives me the fun of finishing off our victims..."

The tutor saw Harvey bring out a tray of shiny silver things.
"Choose your favorite." he said.
Paolo smiled.
"Of course... the knife."
He picked up the knife and walked slowly to the tutor, whose blood was still filling her face.
"Let's do this..." he raised the knife. "Chicken Style!"

THE END

P.S. If you do not know what Chicken Style is, it is what we did when we dissected a chicken this morning. You restrain it from struggling, expose the throat aaaaand... slit! And we just watched the blood flow right out of the poor chicken's neck. Then we saw its innards and everything... lovely lesson!