Friday, October 2, 2009

Part I of a Series of Parts

Prologue - n. an introduction or introductory chapter, as to a novel.

This is my prologue:


And this is my story:


































































































































































































Disclaimer: I do not own FRIENDS, The Grudge, and all others. Special thanks to masterovaya for the FRIENDS bloopers video.
Most of the plot is inspired by: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Grudge trilogy and Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol. Thanks also to The Sims 2, Windows Movie Maker, the BEP: 'I gotta feeling', Blink 182: 'All the Small Things', Augustana: 'Boston'.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

A different view on Law on Persons: MARRIAGE

It is the year 2019.

The Weird Bunch is in a state of inactivity--for now.


Ashley is driving along MacArthur Highway when she passes by a courthouse...
Since her window is open (there will be no more pollution on Earth thanks to the Weird Bunch), and since she was stuck in traffic because her friend Alex's hospital was having a bad day, she heard the court granting a divorce to Allen and Maikee because Allen supposedly cheated on her multiple times, sometimes even right in front of her.
Intrigued but late for her meeting with friends, Ashley drove off to SM Clark to gossip about this new hot topic.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

At Gonuts Donuts,
"Ashley! Hi!" greeted Cha.
"Hi, have you heard about Allen?"
"Ohhhh YES, tara let's gossip about it..."'
So they sat down and ordered the disgustingly thick chocolate drink and gossiped about Allen.
In the middle of "I wonder what will happen to the kids", Alex arrived with a sad look on her face.
"What's wrong, Phid?" asked Cha.
"Eeeeeeee! My parents want me to marry Romell Yen--remember him?--but I REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to!" she wailed.
"Awww... I'm sorry.. but you know," said Ashley. "You don't HAVE to. You have the right."
"I know that... but I just don't want to disappoint my parents."
"Awwww... its okay, Alex." comforted Cha while rubbing her back pervertedly.
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After watching 'Finding Dori', the 3 girls met up with Harvey in front of the lingerie department in the Dept Store.
"Hi, have you heard about Allen?" he gossiped.
"Yes!... psssh pssh psssst" and they all gossiped away...
Not so suddenly...
"Alex! Ashley! Harvey! Cha!" screamed Candice Pineda.
" 'bat moh ako yung last?" asked Cha.
"Did you hearing hearing about Allen and Maikee?" she asked.
"Yes, he cheated on--"
"No, not that! It's about the money!"
"The money?"
"Yes. As it turns out [nosebleed!], Maikee was behind it all! She wanted Allen's fortune all to herself so she hired a professional pole-dance to Photoshop pictures of her and Allen together!"
"Gasp!" they all gasped.
"Wait! Did they sign a... Prenuptial Agreement?"
"I am in a nosebleed, what is that?" asked Candice.
"A Prenuptial Agreement is a contract entered into prior to marriage or civil union by the people intending to marry. The content of a prenuptial agreement can vary widely, but commonly includes provisions for division of property and spousal support in the event of divorce or breakup of marriage."
"So that means...?"
"It means... if they signed a prenuptial agreement, then all Allen's fortune WILL NOT go to Maikee. She will leave their marriage with what she entered it with."
"Ohh..." said Harvey, Cha and Alex.
"I still don't understanding, but OK OK I will go na to da market and buy some pish por my lasagna.." said Candice.
----------------------------------------------------------

So the friends went to the Entertainment Center. Turns out, there was a couple getting married there.
They went downstairs and took a peek.
Aha! It was CJ and Lee!
"CJ! Lee! I can't believe you're getting married!" yelled Harvey.
"Ai! Hellooooo! Oo nga, ikakasal kami dito sa SMC! Ang sayasaya, diiiba? BONGGA!" said Lee.
"Oh my gosh!" said Cha. "You can't get married!"
"Why not?" asked CJ.
"Because your marriage does not have one ofthe essential requisites of marriage!" Cha explained and recited: "No marriage shall be valid, unless these essential requisites are present: (1) Legal capacity of the contracting parties who must be a male and a female... that's what you don't have!"
"Yeah! For one thing, Lee is a MORON, so he has no legal effects, and two, Lee is a female! Same-sex marriage is still illegal in Pampanga!" said Alex.
"Oh. Okay, I'll just go to Starbucks then and eat my sardinas." said CJ.
------------------------------------------------------------

On her way home, Ashley stopped by her childhood church,... uh... she can't remember the name of.. she entered and oho! Another marriage!
She walked down the aisle and looked at the lovely bride and groom.
"Diane! Redmond!"
"Oy! Ashley! How are you?" said Diane. "Let's talk later, ah. I'm getting married now."
"Okay!"
"Hey, Ashley." said the priest.
"Do you know me?"
"Yes, don't you remember me?"
"Oh! Enzo! Sorry I didn't recognize you without your eyeglasses."
"Yes, I got them lasered--"
"So you're a priest now, huh?"
"Yes, I felt that--"
But Ashley sat down before he could finish.
...
After the wedding, Ashley was invited to the reception at Grand Palazzo but she respectfully declined because she had to cut her toenails that night.
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A few weeks later, Ashley received the newspaper and saw the front page. It said:
'Avedillo-Aquino marriage void ab initio, Saladana charged with fraud'
"Yikes..." said Ashley. "Don't they know that one of the formal requisites of marriage is the authority of the solemnizing officer? Psh..."
-----------------------------------------------------

Ashley was going around Facebook, looking at her old High School classmates' profiles when she came across JV's.
Apparently he got married in Las Vegas to a stripper and his witnesses were the stripper's two children, aged 4 and 7.
"Psh.. doesn't he know that a marriage ceremony which takes place with the appearance of the contracting parties before the solemnizing officer and their personal declaration that they take each other as husband and wife in the presence of not less that TWO WITNESSES OF LEGAL AGE?"
She looked for more failed marriages...
After reading about more failed marriages, she decided to contact her friend Alex to see what's going on in her life.
"Hi, Phid. What's up? Did you marry Romell like your parents asked you to?"
"No!" she laughed happily. "I told them who I really love and they said if it's what I really want, then they should be happy for me and so I did! I married my dream guy, Ashley! I'm so happy!"
"Wow! That's great! We should celebrate! Let's go out and have some frozen yogurt, I'll call Cha."
------------------------------------------------------------

At Cold Spoon's,
"I can't believe you got married to ______!" said Cha.
"I know! I'm so happy for myself!" she said.
Just then, an old lady with a blind left eye came in and crazily pointed at Alex and screamed:
"Your family will be cursed....! You and your husband shall forever suffer....! This is what you get for not marrying Romell...! The only way to break the curse is to dial (045)887-5176!"


What will happen to Alex and her new husband, ______? Will she break the curse? Will they "forever suffer"? Does Romell have anything to do with this? What will happen after she dials the given telephone number? And what will she wear the next day?

Find out in the next part

Goodnight!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

A Short Commercial

At SM...
"Ui... psstpsstpsttt.." whispered Sg. Alex [Sg stands for 'supergenius'] to President Cha.
"Ahh, okay." the President replied. "Aslee! Let's go with Alex!"
She grabbed Ashley's arm and got all 'clingy' and 'needy'.
"You're being clingy and needy again.." Ashley said. "Eh, what about Harvey? He'll go with us?"
"No, its okay, I'll go to the bathroom, just meet me at Starbucks."
"Ohhh.. rich boy.."
"No, I'll just go there to smell the coffee beans and look for Lee Ho."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Hmmm... I wonder what Alex was whispering about.. thought Harvey.
He turned left.
Where is the CR? I know there is one around here..
He approached the cashier.
"Eggzzzzzkyoozzz me verrr izzzz da CR?"
"I'm sorry, what?"
Nobody can understand Harvey anyway, so moving on...
Aha! I think this is the CR!
He approached a cave-like thing and found that it was a sort of... tunnel thing. On either side of the tunnel-thing there were doors.... doors with.. lines... he was afraid to open one... He followed the tunnel to the end and found himself in Heaven.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Bras of all shapes and sizes and colors filled his eyes. Bras over here... bras over there... bras everywhere, everywhere!
And then a few feet away he heard some people arguing.
"Mag-color ka na nga!"
"Yeeeee yoko nga!"
"There's nothing wrong with it!"
"Come join us... be one of us..."
"Okay, fine."
Alex suddenly started walking toward the tunnel Harvey was hiding in. Having realized it was a dressing room, Harvey rain into one of the stalls and locked the door.
Wait a second... you cant fit bras in a mall! Harvey realized in his head.
Pssssssssssshhhhhh.
A sound like an opening of a door in some sci-fi movie caught Harvey's ears.
From the opening on the floor, Harvey could see light... and Sg. Alex's shadow going into the light..

--------------------------------------------------------------

Without a moment's hesitation, Harvey flattened himself upon the floor and rolled into the adjoining dressing room. He jumped into the light after Alex.
Unbeknownst to Alex, she was being followed by Harvey into a room that looked like an operating room. She was still holding the colored bra.
There was a man... fat... big... and dark. When Harvey approached the man he could feel a radiating heat...
"Welcome, Ms. Tan."
It was none other than Lee, CEO of Leebag designer bags.
"I wish to upgrade my BRA please." Alex handed him the colored bra that Ashley and President Cha picked for her.
"Bongga! Ahem.. what's the password?"
Alex took a deep breath.
"Oshaaaaaa!" with the 'osha' pose, yah.
"Very well. We will begin."

-------------------------------------------------------

Harvey was surprised.. what was Lee doing with bras? And what did Alex mean when she said 'upgrade'?
Harvey then noticed a whole box of bras on his right side. The box was labeled 'Colored'. He looked to his left and saw another one, this time labeled 'Plain'. He took one colored and one plain and went back through the light-door-thing.

-----------------------------------------------------

Back at the Weird Bunch HQ,
Harvey wanted to ask Alex about the whole Lee-bra thing so he knocked on her door.
"Sg. Alex?"
The door opened. Alex was sitting in front of a brand-new million-dollar (she IS the richest girl in all of Asia) Grand Piano, playing some of the greatest musical... stuff... during the Renaissance.. time.
"Wow, Sg. Alex, I didn't know you could play the piano so well!"
"Mmmhmm."
He walked over to Sg. Alex's desk. Her Kumon workbook thing was open. He saw question #13 was answered wrong.
"Sg. Alex..." he said. "5+5 isn't equal to negative 23."
"Oh? Really? Ahh... can you change that for me? Thanks!"
Hmmmm... Harvey squinted his eyes really really hard until he could see through the back of Sg. Alex's shirt. She's wearing a colored bra!
Right at that moment, Ashley walked in to borrow white ink from Alex.
"Eeeeew! Pervert!" Ashley yelled at Harvey.
"No, I was just--"
Harvey squinted again. Ashley's wearing a colored bra, too!
"EEEEEEEw!!!" Ashley ran away without getting Alex's white ink.
Harvey secretly followed her to her room. She was trying to answer a geometry question. She was trying to determine whether the triangles are congruent by postulate SSS, SAS, ASA or theorem AAS. But she was having a hard time, a lot of erasures and mistakes...
Then Harvey noticed the paintings surrounding the walls of her room.
"Nice paintings." remarked Harvey.
"Yeah... go bother someone else, Pervey. I have to finish my homework..."

----------------------------------------------------

Harvey went downstairs to the kitchen.
President Cha was cooking something that smelled really really yummy.
"Wow, you're a really good cook, Madame President!"
"Thanks, Pervey!"she scribbled something on the notebook.
Harvey looked at the notebook.
"Wow! You just solved the Global Warming crisis!"
"Thanks! I know.. I'm great."
Harvey squinted through her shirt again.
Weird... she's wearing... plain? No... colored... wait, wait.. its.. Plain AND Colored!
"You're wearing TWO bras?" asked Harvey.
"Pervert!" President Cha threw her ratatouille at him.
Soon the secret service agents came into the kitchen and took Harvey to the guilty room.

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"There is something you must know." said S.A. Romell Yen.
"Yes." said S.A. Vini Limjoco with his arms crossed.
"Do you know why President Cha is the smartest woman in the world?" asked S.A. Romell.
"Uh... she studied a lot when she was younger?"
"No." said S.A. Vini.
"Do you know why Supergenius Alex Tan is the greatest mathematician in the world?" asked S.A. Romell.
"She's... a descendant of Hitler?" joked Harvey.
"No." said S.A. Vini.
"And lastly, do you know why Ashley always kicks your butt at everything you do?" asked S.A. Romell.
"Well she IS Ashley the Great."
"No." said S.A. Vini.
"You dont talk much.." Harvey told S.A. Vini.
"HarVEY! You're so mean... it's like we haven't been through anything! Can I borrow $3?" Vini begged.
"Vini! Listen!" said Romell.
"You're just jealous coz Alex is the greatest mathematician, not you!"
"She's the greatest WOMAN mathematician, I'm the greatest MAN mathematician!"
"Oiiieeeeee meant-to-be!"
---------------------------------------------------------
Minutes later,
"Harvey.. harvey, harvey, harvey..." said Romell. "Have you ever wondered why girls are almost always better than boys?"
"Uh... yeah, I thought it was just really like that."
"What do girls have that boys dont?"
"I think its the other way around..."
"Nooooo! Girl's have bras! Boys cant wear bras! It'll just be filled with air!"
"Ohhh..."
"These 'bras' are actually devices that enhance the brain cells. Colored bras enhance the artistic side of the brain and the plains enhance the calculating part of the brain."
"Ohhhh that explains Alex and Ashley..."
"Yes. Sg. Alex is the ultimate PLAIN bra-wearer. She was convinced shortly after 3:00PM yesterday to switch to colored." said Romell.
"Yes, a plot, we think, to make President Cha the ONLY double-sided brain in the world." said Vini.
"What about Ashley?" asked Pervey.
"She was already tricked by Ashley to become colored."
"Ohhh nooo!"
"Yes. Which is why we need your help, Pervy Perverson. To get hold of the ultimate double-sided bra that currently belongs to none other than President Cha."
"Gasp! But how can I do that?"
"That is up to you, you are the pervert." said Vini.
"Remember... bra is actually B.R.A... it stands for Brain Regulating Anions."
"That makes no sense."
"Exactly."
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Harvey secretly snuck into President Cha's room. He opened all the cabinets and wardrobes and drawers searching for bras but nothing.
Ew, our President only wears 1 bra.
Harvey was just about to leave the room when President Cha entered.
"What are YOUUUUU doing HEEEEERE?"
"Uhmm... Brain Regulating Anions!" yelled Harvey.
"What??"
"I know your plan! Your plan is to be the only smart person in the world! That's why you convinced Alex to switch to colored bras! You evil, evil wumman!"
"What?? You think bra stands for Brain Regulating Anions?? You MORON!"
"Huh?"
"Ughhhhh who ever told you THAT?"
"Romell and Vini did."

"Hhihihihihihihihi!" Romell laughed.
"Hehehehehehe!" Vini laughed.
"Harvey totally fell for it!"
"Hihihihihihihi!"
"YOU BOYS HAVE BEEN MESSING AROUND WITH MY BRAS!" yelled Lee.
Lee screeched in a high-pitched voice and starting running toward them, flapping her arms around like an insane moronic fat bat.
"Hurry, Vini! Bring out your weapon!"
"Stop right there, Leebag! I have water!" threatened Vini.
"And I have a gavel!"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEECK!"Lee then melted and the secret of the bras was lost forever...


THE END.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

ANNOUNCEMENT

I'm happy to announce that I will be resuming my Weird Bunch episodes!
To those 3 readers, clap your hands! I will be reminding you of this tomorrow.

The next episode will be inspired by the guy called 'L' who is actually my friend Harvey.
He suggested an American Idol spoof so.. I have downloaded the American Idol font (Kaufmann Bold BT) and will start the story ASAP.

Thank you for your support.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Comparing the Original Version of MAWB with the New and somewhat improved one

CHARACTERS (ORIGINAL)
Abilities

Ashley - all the elements of the world (psshhh weak.)
Paolo - dark magic, energy and matter manipulation (pretty..)
Harvey - Super speed (haha)
Lyca - Illusion-related stuff (she was granted powers by the CASADiJ)
Vini - (inactive) able to enlarge himself to any size
Jaime von Monsterburgenvaughstraughsenheidelshlinkymanjansen - evil villain with no powers, he's just really frikkin rich
Ochteepoo - modern-day Shield. Grew a freakish tentacle-hair thing ever since she fell in octopus poop.
Tom - (inactive) turns himself into Tomzilla when angry.
Imma - was originally a part of the WB, then joined the CASADiJ.

CASADiJ
Christiana - mayor of OBMCI I-A (yeah, I was first year then). Governs all... makes rules.. super smart.. blaaaahblaaah blaah
Alex, Sandee, Desi, Jeni - information not available

CHARACTERS (CURRENT)
Abilities

Ashley - the brains of the Weird Bunch
Paolo - super sight (haha it got lamer)
Harvey - technical wizard... still a fast runner though
Lyca - predicts the future from her illustrations
Annika - super flirting powah
Imma - reinstated but rarely works at all

PLOT (ORIGINAL)

The Villains were Jaime von MBVSHSMJ and Ochteepoo, who were trying to bring the world to its knees by means of... paying large amounts of cha-ching... and entangling Ochteepoo's hair in their own...

PLOT (CURRENT)

The Sims 2 versions have all been basically about Paolo, Harv and me. Just regular stuff. No powers anymore. The villain is still the same hahaha just minus Jaime von MBVSHSMJ.