Ep 2.4

EDIT (09/27/2014): Ho-lee shit it's been almost six years to the day I wrote this (lame) story! First things first, Paolo's openly gay now. So this story is messed up. Also, I edited out the word "racist" and put "homophobic" instead, because apparently 14-year old me thought gays were a race. In any case, in the next six years to come that 14-year old girl grew up to be a staunch supporter of LGBT rights and all that, so... don't judge me by how negatively I wrote, although I really never was against homosexuality haha.

Dear Readers, this will be the very first season that has a 4th episode. Please applaud. Thanks. Now you may start to read.
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Sorry for the pause, I had to rinse thoroughly parts of my anatomy that I think may have been in contact with Copper Sulfide. Now, back to the story...

"We have a big problem.."
"I know..."
"What are we going to do?"
"I don't know..."
"I think we should just pull them out..."
"I think so too..."
Somewhere in their ridiculously large warehouse called the Hub, the girls were having a conversation. And the tendency of males (or in this case, gays) is to listen to what they're saying.
"Oh, no!" gasped Paolo. "They're, like, gonna pull us out coz we're, like, GAY!"
"Ugh," tsked Harvey. "How homophobic."
"I know! It's all your fault, kasi!"
"Eggs-key-yooz-eh-mwah?"
"Yeah! If you hadn't stopped to watch American Idle, we woudn't be in this mess!"
"That's it!" Harvey stamped his foot. "Why is it always my fault? I'm always the one being blamed for everything that happens in this house!"
"That's coz it IS your fault!"
"That! Is! It, sssssister!"
SLAP.
"Oh... NO... you... DIDN'T!"
SLAP.
"Eugh! Feel the power of my newly manicured fingernails!"
Scrrrratch.
"My face! Ugh!"
POKE.
"My eye! My eye! Hiyaaa!"
CHUG.
[Note from the Author: I'm, like, a girl so I, like, don't know how it feels to get kicked in the nuts but... just imagine that...]

The girls heard a door slam somewhere in the distance.
"Wuz goin on?" asked Annika.
They poked their heads out of the room and looked.
Then Harvey came thundering down the stairs and walked past them.
"Yo, Harvey!" called Lyca. "Where're you goin?"
"I'm leaving this place forever!" he screeched. "Nobody appreciates me, nobody notices me! I'm just a shadow to you people!"
And before he slammed the door, he shouted:
"And nobody accepts me for who I am!"
Lyca and Annika ran out to chase him.
"Tsss..." tssed Paolo coming from nowhere. "What's his problem..."
"What's up? Did you have a fight or something?" asked Ashley.
"It's his fault I'm gay!"
"So? We accept you for who you are!"
"But I wanna stay in the Weird Bunch!"
"What? You can be in the Weird Bunch and still be gay!" [NFTA: This is, like, so totally not true but I'm not, like, homophobic or anything I just don't know anybody I like thats gay--2014 EDIT: Yes, you do!]
"But... I thought you're going to pull us out because we're gay!"
"What? Why would I say that? I'm the nicest, most generous, frikkin most awesome person in the world!" [NFTA: Now THIS is true :D]
"Then what were you talking about???"
"WEEDS! We were talking about the weed infestation in our garden!"
[If you scrolled up just to see if this fits, then I have the power to control your frikkin minds bwahahaha]
"Oh..."
"C'mon! We'd better catch up with Harvey!"
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But Harvey was so far away already, by now, he already walked all the way to the city. Annika and Lyca weren't much help. They got distracted by a lemonade stand so they stopped running.
Ashley and Paolo, on the other hand, who were so brilliantly brilliant and so great, ran as fast as they could to the direction where they saw Harvey going.
"Hey..." Ashley said as she ran side-by-side with Paolo, who wasn't as brilliant nor as fast as her bwaha. "Isn't that Annika and Lyca over there buying lemonade???"
"Why, I think it is, indeed."
"Tsss... lazy frikkin sons of--"
[This is a children' story.]

By the time Ash and Pao arrived (P.S. You may not call me Ash unless I've known you for over a year and have said more than 500 words to your face. I don't know about Paolo though), it was too late. Lee had begun. Begun what you ask? Wait. I'll think of something...

Kay, I'm done thinking. This is ever so slightly gross and a little 'pleshae' but just go with the flow...

On the TV screen in the barber shop...
"Good morning/afternoon/evening! My name is Larry Queen and today/this afternoon/tonight we'll be talking about Lee's plan on world domination. So what can you tell us, Lee?"
"Well, I intentionally [pssshhh, nosebleed] joined American Idle and got rejected so that I can spread this virus that I have discovered. The Gaytaba Virus, it is unique [psssh, nb] because unlike other viruses, it is spread by hearing and only through songs. So I sang a song and spread the virus to all the judges, all the viewers, and... sigh... Ryan Oceancrest xoxo..."
"This is very unique! Thank crap I didn't watch... So what does this Gaytaba Virus do anyway?"
"Well, it enters through the ear canal, and invades all the cells, and so, I can call you... my children!"
"So what will you do with your 'children'?"
"The virus will spread to their brain cells and tell them that I am their Jumbo."
"Jumbo?"
"Leader."
"Oh. Jumbo leader?"
"No, just Jumbo."
"What if they make fun of you by calling you Dumbo instead of Jumbo?"
"Then they shall perish![psssh.. NB]"
"How? Don't you just control them?"
"I'll make them jump off a cliff or something!"
"What do you plan to do with your controlled 'children'?"
"Hehehehehe..."

"Tssss..." tssed Ashley.
"It seems to me..." began Paolo.
"It's another job for..." continued Ashley.
"The Weird Bunch!" shouted Annika and Lyca in unison. [Voc. Unison- at the same time in the same pitch]
"About time..." grumbled Paolo.
"Hey!" Ashley exclaimed.
"What?"
"I've just noticed!"
"What?"
"You're not that gay anymore!"
"Huh? Oh yeah!"
Out of nowhere, Alex and Sandee appeared.
"We know the cure! We know the cure!" said an over-excited Sandee.
"It's excercise!" said Alex.
"How did you find that out?" inquired Lyca.
"Well, we tested in on white mice." explained Alex the genius. "We exposed them to Lee's singing and when they were gay, we put a box of lipstick and a box of shaving cream in two separate ends of the room..."
"And they went to the lipstick, obviously..." continued Sandee.
"...but then when they got there..."
"They turned around and headed for the shaving cream!"
"So we came to the conclusion..."
"That by running towards the lipstick..."
"The mice sweated out the Gaytaba Virus!"
"Brilliant!" said Ashley. "Excercise is the cure!"
"Precisely! We'll go back to the Hub then..."

A magnificent lightbulb of ideas lighted upon the magnificent head of Ashley the Magnificent.
"I have a magnificent idea!"

I'm gonna stop now. So... I'll post a challenge.
Since the letter E is the most commonly used letter in the English alphabet, I challenge you to count ALL the E's in ep 2.4. If you counted correctly, add a P before it and that's how much the prize is.
P.S. It only works for the first person who gives me the answer. If he/she got it wrong, the challenge is over.
Bye~!