CBSS: Harry Potter

Note to the Reader/s: Hey, its another CBSS, the Harry Potter CBSS.

NOTE v.2 : I don't know why, but there are loads of spaces between lines... just... deal with it.
NOTE v.3 : Ignore the mistaken title please, I forgot to add the others hahahahaha

Characters:

Harry - Paolo (coz of the glasses)

Ron - Harvey (coz he's... funny?)

Hermione - had to be me coz I'm the smartest Weird Bunch >:]

Ginny - Lyca (coz like... feisty and stuff?)

Luna - ANNIKA! (haha no need to explain the weirdness!)
Note: Please be informed that on Dec.28,2008 Annika and Harvey, supposedly going to SM Clark, rode the wrong transportation and ended up at--wait for it... SM Pamp! Hahahahaha also be informed that I waited for nearly 2 hours! Thank God he invented Cybr!

Neville - couldn't really think of anyone...

Moldy - Well... everybody knows who represents Moldy!

P.S. The relationship thingy at the epilogue of DH doesn't apply because 1, eew, Harvey and 2, hahahaha Paolo and Lyca? That'll be the day...

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Paolo Urquico and the following: the Missing Can, The Three Important Things To Do and Moldy's Cotton Candy Catastrophe

Tan-taaaan-tanan-taaaan-tan-taaaaan-taaaaaan!

Paolo Urquico was no ordinary boy, for one thing, he had eyeglasses. Oh, but not just any eyeglasses... his eyeglasses were special. Those eyeglasses could only be cleaned using a cloth.

But that wasn't the only extraordinary thing about Paolo Urquico. Paolo Urquico (can I stop typing Urquico now? It's so loooong) had the most awesome of awesome Friend...s, Ashley and Harvey! (mostly Ashley) And some other friends: Annika and Lyca. And on a lesser note, he was a wizard. So what? Oh, and he had a scar. Not an external one, an internal one. He is emotionally scarred, he doesn't like FC little kids who come up to him and ask questions.

On a seemingly normal Saturday morning at school (they don't have class on Thursdays to commemorate the day Ashley was born so now they have class on Sat mwahahaha and yes, I know I was born on a Thursday, I used a Perpetual Calendar), Paolo arrived just in time to have the daily assembly, carrying his usual gigantic CELINE PAPER BAG filled with ALL his books with no apparent reason. He immediately looked for his totally awesome friends, Ashley and Harvey.

He saw them at the regular place where they hang out, the cubby holes (not inside them, just near them!).

He walked up to them and immediately planted his hand on Ashley's shoulder in order to 'suck' his so-called "shoulder power". In other words, Ashley is used as a certain 'charger'.

After the reminders of Professor D, they proceeded to ascend their solid, unmoving stairs. In the process of ascension, the three group of friends always had to stay behind to get their Daily Philippine Star. Paolo actually doesn't, he just waits for Ashley's fresh supply of "shoulder power" while she and Harvey painfully, hard-workingly, devotedly, selflessly, putting themselves in a difficult position of levitating the papers up the stairs.

"What's your first subject today?" asked Paolo.

"English, why?" replied Harvey.

"Nothing, I was just distracting you while I took your lollipop."

"Rrrr..."

Ashley, suffering under Paolo's grip of sucking her "shoulder power", complained:

"How come you don't suck Harvey's 'shoulder power'?"

"Becauzzzzz, how can I suck 'shoulder power' from a slanted shoulder? It's impossible!"

"Hmm... good point."

Harvey did that squinty thing he always does.

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When the non-existing school bell signaled the start of class, Paolo hurried up his packing of things because he knew the teacher was coming 5.13 minutes later. He stuffed his stuff hurriedly and sprinted to his desk, unfortunately being at the other side of the room. Why this took 5.13 minutes, I do not know. The moment his left buttock touched the ice-cold dark red/maroon-ish chair, his first subject teacher popped in.

In the other room, Ashley and Harvey were waiting for their teacher. Being seated near the door, Harvey, doodling at the back of his Values Education notebook, saw something moving near the section B's lockers. Knowing that all students must be inside after the imaginary bell rang, he turned around to where Ashley was teaching her seatmate Claude how to do the math homework.

"Did you see that?" Harvey asked as Claude nosebled.
"See what?" Ashley replied as Candice, Harvey's seatmate, handed Claude tissue.

"There was something or someone messing around near the section B's lockers."

"Hmm... near which locker specifically?"

"Paolo's."

They both squinted their knowledgeable eyes, their brains whirring, thinking of an answer this to mysterious case.

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The imaginary bell rang again for Snack Time. The three, along with their other friends Annika and Lyca, headed to the Great Cafe.

"Paolo, we saw something or someone near your locker." said Ashley.

"Yeah, is there any vandalism?"

"No, I didn't notice anything. Let's just look later after snacks."

The snacks for that day were Porridge/Lugaw (I think, yuck, by the way) and Corned Beef sandwiches (oooooh, worst day ever...). Having no choice, the three plus two paid for their food and sat down.

It's kinda quiet today, thought Paolo. I wonder what's up...

Just then, the class president of the section B burst into the Great Cafe and marched toward Paolo.

"Paolo, we need funds for our photocopy of the summary of our classic reader, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows^©."

"Ok, how much do you need?"

"Around... P40."

"Hey, can you include our class, too? Here..." asked Ashley and handed him the money.

"Ok, let's just go upstairs and I'll get the class funds..."

Upstairs, with 10 minutes left of snack time:

"Oh no!" whined Paolo, taking stuff out of his locker and throwing them to the floor.

"Ouch!" yelled an innocent bystander who was crawling on the floor looking for crumbs.

"Sorry... ASHLEY! HARVEY! Come here!"

"What?"

"Did you take my can?"

"Excuse me?"

"My can! My can!! MY CAN!!!"

"WHAT can?!"

"The Class Funds Can!"

"Why would you think we have it?"

"Coz you two are the only ones who know my combination!"

"Hey!" Harvey's eyes widened. "It was the thief we saw this morning!"

Ashley rounded on Paolo.

"Did you lock your locker properly this morning?"

"Yeah! I think... but my lock was locked when I opened it!"

"Well, obviously the thief would lock your locker again so it would look like nothing happened!"

"Good point."

"Thank you."

"So how do we find out who the thief was?" asked Harvey.

"The more important thing is to tell the authorities," Ashley pointed out.

"No, the most important thing is to get the money back!" said Paolo.

With these 3 important things to do, the friends split up and followed their own objectives.

From here, you might think that Ashley has the easiest thing to do. She could just go down one floor and tell any teacher there. But this was no ordinary Saturday.

When Ashley arrived at the 3rd floor, there was an eerie atmosphere. She went to the teacher's faculty room and peeked inside. Nobody there. Ashley smacked herself on the forehead and told herself, "Of course, stupid, they're having snacks!" so she went downstairs.

Harvey's thing to do would be the hardest obviously because catching a thief isn't easy. But once again, this was no ordinary Saturday.

Harvey entered the freshmen room section A and looked at each and every student. Since he was the one who saw the thief first, he would know the physical descriptions of the person he needed to find out. But this was all unnecessary because--

"I'm the thief you're looking for." said a voice behind Harvey. He turned and saw to his intense belief, none other than the flat-faced Moldy.

Paolo's thing to do was, to me, the least important of all. Because, who cares about the money if there's a sneaking thief around the school? But this was important to Paolo to uphold his reputation of being... I dunno... trustworthy?

So after unsuccessfully looking at the forever-locked lost and found, he thought and thought and thought of a plan to get all the money back, which was a total of P36 (haha, so they couldn't have afforded the photocopies anyway) because they spent it all on CRANBERRY JUICE at their Christmas Party, and had an idea.

But then, a little CASA kid walked up to him (because he was walking around their area, the one near the lost and found) and asked, "What's you're name?".

At this moment, Paolo's "internal scar of hatred of FC children" burned like hell and momentarily blinded him. The pain was so intense, that he collapsed on the floor. Not until the kid lost interest and left him on the floor did he revive from that terrible episode.

Fortunately, Ashley, who went downstairs to look for the teachers saw him and rushed over and gave him "shoulder power".

"Hey! Did your internal scar hurt again?"

"Yeah... I saw a picture of moldy bread...but I'm fine now..." he said, standing up still gripping Ashley's shoulder.

"Which FC kid was it?"

"That one." Paolo pointed.

"Ugh," Ashley grimaced. "Disgusting."

"Lucky you were here."

"Yeah, I was looking for the teachers. There are no teachers at all!"

"That's weird... none at the faculty?"

"None!"

"Maybe... they're having a meeting in the library?"

"Maybe... are you coming with me?"

"Yeah... I guess so. I can' think of anything to get the money back right now..." he said, forgetting the idea he previously had.

Harvey was not so fortunate. After bumping in to Moldy, he was having a verbal fight with... it.

"Why did you steal the section B's money, flat face?" he spat.

"So that Paolo would lose its credibility, permanent-pimple-boy!" it hissed.

"What do you have against Paolo, you white-faced thing that gets on bread that's stayed out too long?"

At these words, Moldy began his speech:

"There was a prophecy made by the prophetess--"

"Duh."

"Shatap! Anyway, the prophetess predicted that there would be one who would defeat me in all subjects! He must be defeated!"

"How are you so sure that it's Paolo?"

"Because the prophecy indicated that the one who would beat me would be tall, black-haired, spoke English, wrote a blog, plays Oblivion, is a Class Officer and travels in a group of three plus two!"

Harvey stared, his brain thinking.

"I'm tall. And I 'travel' in a group of three plus two!"

"Yes but you do NOT write a blog and play Oblivion nor are you a class officer!"

"You know, there could be someone else being talked about... or should I say, there is another Subject."

"Oh, please, stop acting smart. Who is the other subject?!"

"Sheesh, and you're not that smart..." Harvey walked away and turned around. "Oh, and by the way, you shouldn't have said it was you who stole the can, lamebrain."

"Why not?"

"Because now I can turn you in, mutha fu--."

Aaaaaaanyways, back to the nicer people...

Paolo and Ashley were at the library, concerned. Even the librarian was gone. They also passed the Grade School Faculty and there were no teachers there... even the bookstore lady or the cashier or and guards!

"This is really freaking me out..." said Ashley.

"Yeah... where could adults go at a time like this?" Paolo wondered.

Just then, the imaginary school bell rang and teachers and staff suddenly popped in as though they 'teleported'. Apparently they all had their coffee breaks.

"What the-- what are you doing in the library, Ms. Magz?" asked Professor A, the coffee break-king.

"Uhm.. we were looking for a teacher, sir,"

"We? Who's we?"

Ashley looked at Paolo.

"We! Me and Paolo!"

"But Paolo's not here!"

"What the..." Paolo stared at Professor A. "Are you kidding me?"

He waved a hand in front of his face. Nothing.

He made a funny face. Nothing.

He slapped him hard across the face. Nothing. He didn't even flinch.

"What's going on?" Ashley said.

"Bwahahahaha!" Moldy came out of nowhere. "Nobody can see Paolo because I put a spell to make everyone except the group of three plus two forget that he ever existed!"

"Why?"

"So I can finish him and nobody would know it!"

"I would know, so would Harvey and Annika and Lyca!"

Moldy laughed. "Who would believe four teenage kids against a whole school?"

"Good point."

"Thank you. Now, it's time to meet your maker, Paolo Urquico!" it raised its Leone^© ballpen up in the air and began to make it go all swirly swirly.

"Waaaaaaait!"

Harvey, Annika and Lyca ran towards them.

"What now? And about time you two girls showed up..."

"You can't kill Paolo!"

"Why not?"

"Because I told you," Harvey said. "He's not the one you're looking for!"

"Who is, then?"

"It's Ashley!" yelled Lyca.

"Ashley's the one with the brains to beat you!" celebrated Harvey.

"Oh, thanks a lot, Harvey, now she's gonna kill ME."

"No problemo, hiyaaaa!" Moldy swooshed its Leone^© ballpen and in a second Ashley burst into balls of cotton candy.

"Mwahahahaha! Now no one will ever beat me!" Moldy raised its hands in triumph.

"Yeah, but now all the teachers have seen what you've done and now, you're off to juvenile prison. Bye bye!"

"Uh-oh, nooooooooooooooooo!" Moldy yelled as the teachers stunned him and called the police.

"Don't worry," said Annika. "I'm sure there are really nice people there. Make sure you ride the right transportation! You don't wanna end up at the wrong prison, do you?"

"Good luck!" waved Lyca. "But there's still the problem about fluffy here..." she pointed to the balls of cotton candy. "How do we bury her? Like... in a plastic with a stick or..."

"Hahaha, you don't think I'm dead, do you?"

Note: Well, duh, how could I let MYSELF die? That's just stupid. Actually...

Ashley performed a complex thingymajigger where she replicated herself and hid so when Moldy planned on killing her, the replicate would just burst into balls of delicious cotton candy.

"Enjoy!"

So the group of three plus two, and some other teachers who witnessed the event, ate cotton candy balls and chatted merrily and they lived happily ever after. Until the imaginary bell rang and they had to go have their Spanish class, conjugating the verbs and stuff...

THE END.

PS - The idea that Paolo had was never shown, but it was actually a fund-raising concert where he performed the noseflute.

PS2 - The Can was found under the lockers of the section B.

PS3 - Is a gaming console.

Wow, this story was kinda long, wasn't it? I really don't have anything to do kasi eh. I'm done with Resistance 2... so I'll just write.

By the way, starting today, this blog will be private.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series or the characters, or the logo, or the Harry Potter theme (the tan-tanan-taaan... at the beginning) or anything Harry Potter related. They all belong to JKR.

CBSS: F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Note to the reader: This episode is a spoof of the Episode 3.18 "The One with the Hypnosis Tape" because it was when Chandler tries to stop smoking hahahahaha
Another note: I've got the picture!
NOTE: HAHAHAHA IGNORE THE PIC! IM KINDA DYSLEXIC SO I DIDNT NOTICE THAT ITS WEIRD BNUCH HAHAHAHAH!!!






List of Characters and their representatives:
(Alphabetical Order)

> Chandler Bing - Harvey Kim (of course, who else? )

> Joey Tribbiani - yeah, I couldn't find anyone for him and since he doesnt do much in this ep, he'll be represented by himself...

> Monica Geller - Lyca D' Lam (coz of that whiny voice hahaha)

> Phoebe Buffay - Annika (because of the weird hippie-ness? haha kidding! u hate peace doncha?)

> Rachel Green - (i dunno, i just told the starbucks guy to write Rachel on my frap so i guess now I'm Rachel?)

> Ross Geller - Paolo U. (coz tall-ish... looking like a smart dude-ishnessicity? he was Ross in starbucks, btw)

Central Perk will still be called Central Perk
A break from tradition, you know?

For those who actually watched this episode, you might get bored.

Let it begin...
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Harvey walked in to the coffee shop, sat down and took out his "stuff" and started to "do" it.
At once, his awesome, brilliant friends who HE SHOULD BE THANKFUL FOR HAVING shouted and yelled.
"Hey hey hey hey hey!"
"Quit smoking!"
"What?!" Harvey asked. "I'm troubled!"
"Hey," said Ashley. "I have this friend who listened to this 'hypnosis tape' overnight, and the next day, she quit smoking!"
"Great..."
"I could borrow and it and you should listen to it!"
"Okeydokey."
Harvey "did" it again.
"Could you just stop?" Paolo glared.
"Fine..."
"Thank you."
"... I was...actually...going to the bathroom to smoke there..."
"Haaaayayayyyy..."
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The next day at Central Perk.
"Harvey, Harvey, Harvey!" Ashley came rushing in.
"'What?' says Harvey number one! 'What' says Harvey number two--" Harvey began to joke.
"Oh shut up! Here's the tape!"
She handed it out to him.
Harvey stared at it for a while.
"It doesn't look like gum," he commented.
"Arrrrgh, you and your jokes!" Annika groaned.

Suddenly, her younger brother (fictional, she has a younger sister and older brothers) came in and announced that he was getting married to a lady that is 20 years older than him and walked out of the cafe.

"Well, that was quick..." said Paolo.
"Yeah, I know! I mean, he's only 18 and he's getting MARRIED?!" Annika said in disbelief.
"No... I was talking about his announcement..."
"But c'mon, Annika, if he really loves her, then shouldn't you be happy?" asked Lyca.
"Yeah, I should! But she's like... I just don't want him to marry her!"
"Why is it coz of the age thing?" Paolo asked.
"I'm okay witht the 'age thing', until it starts to put its tongue down my brother's throat!" she freaked out.
* Actual line
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At work, Lyca was serving this chubby guy with spiky hair and a nice moustache named (I'm so sorry, dude, but it SO FITS! The guy in the real episode was chubby, rich and had a goatee!!! this is perfect!) Vince.
He put his tip in the tip box and started to walk out to door when Lyca called him back.
"Excuse me! What the hell is this?"
She held up a check for $20,000.
"I'm sorry," he smiled. "I just don't know how much to tip."
"You're supposed to double the tax, not double the tax of ROMANIA."
*Actual Line
"So can I ask you on a date?"
"What?"
"Will you. Go out. With me?"
"Yeah, sure what the hell..."
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Later that night, Harvey gets ready to sleep and remembers the tape that Ashley gave him to help him quit.
He puts it in and falls asleep.
"Smoking is bad for you health..." it began.
...
"You are a strong, independent woman... and you don't need to smoke..." it repeated over and over again because it stuck.
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The next morning at Central Perk.
"Hey Pao," Annika asked. "You think I'm right, right?"
"About what?" he asked.
"About... not wanting Gio to marry Debra?... Because she's old..."
"Well, if it's what you really think is right, then its right. But you can't stop true love, can you?"
"But... do YOU think they should get married?"
"Well... I think that they should wait. Because this thing could just be a fling, you know?"
"Yeah... Hey!"
"What?"
"Can you try to talk some sense into him?"
"Who, me? Why me?"
"Coz you're experienced in this type of thing!"
"Oh, that's nice."
"No, come on! I mean, you got divorced already..."
"Yeah, because my ex-wife turned out to be LESBIAN!"
"But it still counts!"
"So what? What's the connection between trying to fix your brother?"
"JUST DO IT, PAOLO, OR SO HELP ME I WILL MAKE SURE YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A CHANCE AT ANOTHER MARRIAGE EVERRRRR!"
"okay ok.."
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So Paolo goes to Gio's apartment to try to make him change his mind.
"Hey, Gio... uhm.. let's talk."
"Ok, what's up?"
"Uhm... some of us think..." Paolo began. "That.. your marriage is uhm..."
"What?"
"A little... too... weird? You know? I mean, she's like, what, 20 years older than you? I mean, c'mon, you're 18! You're at the top of your game! You've got your whole life ahead of you! Whereas she's... gonna die yeeeeears before you mature!"
"Yeah, I know all that but... Paolo, have you ever been in love?"
"Yeah."
(*Okay this is too weird haha but I have to finish this part.)
"Well, what would you do if... your sister told you she doesnt think you should be together because the woman you love isn't the right age? Or the right look? Or the right personality? Wouldn't you fight like hell and ignore the people just to be with her?"
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"So how did it go?" Annika asked Paolo.
"Oh.. you know..."
"No.. I don't... which is why I'm asking."
"Well.. I told him that... that we thought Debra was too old..."
"And?"
"And he said he loved her..."
"Aaaaand?"
"And I... I... I said if he loved her so much they should get married--PLEASE DONT KILL ME!"
"Why yoooooooooou!!!"
"Aaaaaaaaaah! Not the face! Not the face! Oooooo, not there either..."
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In Lyca's apartment, Ashley and Lyca were watching TV.
"Hey, Ash, I've got a date tonight, don't wait up."
"Oooh, a date? With whoooo?"
"Some guy named Vince. Kinda chubby, spiky hair, nice moustache."
"Wait a second, Vince? The MILLIONARE Vince?"
"Well, yeah, he tipped $20,000 so..."
"OMG Lyca's going out with a millionare!"
"Oh, shut up."
Harvey came in.
"Hey Ash can I borrow your makeup kit?"
"Yeah, why, do you have a scar that needs covering up?"
"No, I just realized that I look HORRIBLE in my office light so I thought I needed more blush and just a slightly darker lip color to accent my mascara..." Harvey said as he looked in the mirror.
"Haha, okaaaay, Harvey," Ashley and Lyca laughed.
"What do you really want?" Lyca asked.
"What are you talking about? I want Ashley's make up kit!"
"Just get to the point of the joke, Harv, I've got a date tonight, I don't wanna be late..."
"Oooooh, a date? With whoooo?"
"Vince the MILLIONARE!" squealed Ashley.
"OMG! I read in Vogue that he's the most fashionable AND richest guy of 2028!"
"Okay, Harv, jokes over," said Ashley as Lyca went to her room to pick out what she was going to wear that night. "Stop acting all--"
"Hey, Ash, what should I wear, the blue or the red?" Lyca asked, holding up both.
"I'd go with the--"
"Totally wear the red, it matches your hair and if you wear the right accessories, you could make it work wonderfully." Harvey observed. "I've got just the right earrings! Wait here..."
Ashley and Lyca looked at each other, alarmed.
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Annika decided to accept the fact that her brother was married this older woman, so she went to Gio's apartment.
"Gio... I guess I was a little unfair to Debra. If you really love her, then you can get married."
"Actually, we already did!" Debra said happily.
"And then we tried for a baby." said Gio.
"Oh."
"But we couldnt."
"Oh thank heavens..."
"So we went to the doctor..."
"Uh-oh."
"And they said we COULD have a baby..."
"Oh, crap."
"... we just need a surrogate mother."
"And I'm guessing..."
"Could it be you?"
"Hm... yeah okay!" Annika agreed suprisingly quickly. "I'd LOVE to be able to say, 'I gave birth to my brother's child.'Awesome!"
*This part didn't actually happen in this episode. I just skipped so that you'd see how weird Phoebe is haha
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On Lyca's date, Vince took her to Rome and ordered pizza.
While those two were having fun, Harvey was preparing to sleep again. They have different time zones so dont get confused.
Ashley snuck in to Harvey's apartment to find out exactly what was making him so gay.
"You are a strong, independent woman..." the tape played.
"Ohhhh... hihihihihihihi.." Ashley laughed. "Hmmmm..."
She removed the tape and voiced over it.
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"Hey guys!" Harvey burst in Lyca's apartment where everybody was having breakfast. "Let's go to the beach!"
"Holy--"
"Is that--?"
"Are you--?"
Ashley laughed uncontrollaby.
Harvey was wearing a red bikini, carrying a beach ball and a surfing board.
"Hey, hot stuff," he winked at Vince. "You wanna rub some sun screen on me?"


THE END


This is for those who didnt watch that episode. You should because its soooooo funny.
Some parts were in the actual episode and some parts I just edited a little bit.

DISCLAIMER or whatever, I saw this on youtube
I do not own FRIENDS or any of the characters, all ideas and stuff belong to Warner Bros. Television, etc. etc.

Harvey if you're wondering where I got Giovanni and Debra, its the real name of Frank Jr and Alice, Giovanni Ribisi and Debra Jo Rupp.

Goodnight!

Christmas Break

To the less than four people who read this blog,

Please be informed that I will not continue with the announced Season about Lyca D' Lam...b. Instead I will be doing a Christmas Break Spoof Special. Soon to be shortcutted as CBSS.

Further information about the CBSS:

The CBSS will be about spoofs, of course, of TV Shows. Some may not really be about Christmas but I'll try to make most of it Christmas-y... yikes, I'm forgetting how to spell 'Christmas'. I keep spelling it Chrismast for some reason... anyho, the first CBSS will be entitled: "CBSS: F.R.I.E.N.D.S" with an image which I will put later when I'm done painting it hahahahaha

Merry Christmas!

Ep 2.5

"So what's your big idea?" asked Paolo.
Ashley, Paolo, Alex and Sandee were back in the Hub while Annika and Lyca kept looking for Harvey, hopefully they don't see another lemonade stand.
"The cure is exercise, right? Then lets give 'em something to run for!"
"Like what?"
"Well, obviously, we gather up things that gays looooove!"
"Like what?"
"Hmm..."
So they gathered up all things gay, stuffed animals, lipstick, powder, tight clothes, pictures of Brad Pitt, a DVD of Sex and the City, lacy dresses, etc. etc. and gathered them up into a huge pile which was later called, The Pile of All Things Gay. In other books, it is referred to as The Gay Magnet.
After assembling all these 'things'. They prepared the megaphone.
"Okay, so... who's gonna talk?" asked Paolo.
"Like, duh! Me!"
"Fine..."
"Attention 'children' of Lee!" she anounced.
Her face appeared on the giant screen in the middle of the city. All gay heads turned to face the screen.
"There is one, huge, gigantic pile of stuffed animals, autographed pictures of Brad Pitt, free DVDs of Sex and the City with special Behind-the-scenes features located at the intersection of Meiosis Street and Mitosis Avenue. Hurry or they'll all be gone by sundown!"
A few seconds pause while this bit of information passes through their waxy ears and into their brains.
The sound of distant rumbling told Ashley that they were coming.
"Tss.. this'll be over in a minute..." she tssed.
It was, indeed. In exactly 60 seconds, the gays arrived at the intersection of Meiosis St. and Mitosis Ave. panting, sweating and stinkin'.
"What the hell am I doing here?" asked a fireman.
"And check out all the gay crap," said a policeman.
[Haha, it seems that all examples of people are firemen and policemen haha]
"I'm glad that worked out well." said Paolo.
"Another excellent job well done by the Weird Bunch." said Lyca.
So in a classic ending, the Weird Bunch stood side-by-side watching the sun set on their adventure....
"WAIT!"
"What's up, dude?" asked Lyca.
"HARVEY!"
"Oh yeah! Where is that guy?"
[I actually really DID forget about Harvey haha sorry, buddy!]

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Somewhere in a tall building...
"Mwahahahaha!" mwaha-ed Lee. "They, like, totally fell for it!"
"Tss.." tssed Harvey, shaking his head.
Oh, its not what you think! I'll tell you the scenario.
Harvey is tied up in a straight-backed wooden chair (gasp! those hurt!) while Lee is watching the weird bunch think they were successful in spoiling his plan.
"They think they're SO great, those Weird Bunch!" he snarled.
"Well... we are."
"Who said you could talk?" snapped Lee.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, your royal pain-in-my--"
"Sssssh! No swearing! This is a kid's story, remember?"
"I was gonna say 'butt'!"
Lee glared at Harvey.
"Nah, I was gonna say pain-in-my-ass."
Lee gasped.
"So what do you plan on doing to me anyway?" asked a calm, cool and aloof Harvey.
"I am soooo addicted to how THIN you are!" Lee bursted.
"Why, thank you, I get that a lot."
"And I love your hair! What do you put on it?"
"I use papaya extract and thank you, but I'd like to have my hair on my body, if you dont mind."
"Oh, you will..." Lee giggled mischievously. "Your body wont be damaged... it just wont be yours anymore. Mwahahahahaha! Are you wondering what I'm planning to do? Are ya? Are ya?"
"I already know. You're planning a brain transplant so your brain will be in my body. Tsk, tsk. How cliche..."
"Who cares? At least I look like you!"
"So what now? You have a crush on me?"
No answer.
"I'm flattered that you like me but I don't think I want to be fat, dark and have issues."
"There's nothing you can do! You're tied up to a chair!"
"That's what you think." Harvey replied ever so coolly. "While you were confessing your secret love for me, I untied myself."
"You're bluffing!" accused Lee.
"Seriously, people these days... they dont think!"
Harvey removed the loose ropes, stood up, walked over to Lee, boinked him on the head and jumped out the window. Why, you ask? Because right at that moment, the Weird Bunch's private jet, piloted by Ashley (coz I'm she's the only one that knows how to drive) swerved right under him and he landed COOLLY into the seat behind her.
"Perfect timing. What made you realize?" he asked as he buckled in his seatbelt (SAFETY FIRST!)
"I couldn't hear Lee crying."
"Oh."

THE END OF THIS SEASON.
The Author would like to dedicate this season finale to Harvey, who is SO cool and SO NOT gay.
Clues about the next season:

-story is now about Lyca D' Lam
-I think it should be rated PG13
-for blood and gore content >:] MWAHAHAHAHA
-dont worry she wont die
-yet! mwahahahaha >:]
-juz keedun!
-or am I? MWAHAHAHAHa >:]

By the way, nobody has come up to me yet about the Letter E Challenge so you can still see me. Deadline is Nov.10,2008. Monday.

P.S. For those who DO want to see Lyca meet her unfortunate end, send me a comment anywhere. Friendster URL : http://profiles.friendster.com/themagz or you can just send it here. And since this blog only reaches a maximum of 5 people, I don't expect anyone to comment...

Bye! Eat at Bretto's sometime, k? Burger's HUGE

Ep 2.4

EDIT (09/27/2014): Ho-lee shit it's been almost six years to the day I wrote this (lame) story! First things first, Paolo's openly gay now. So this story is messed up. Also, I edited out the word "racist" and put "homophobic" instead, because apparently 14-year old me thought gays were a race. In any case, in the next six years to come that 14-year old girl grew up to be a staunch supporter of LGBT rights and all that, so... don't judge me by how negatively I wrote, although I really never was against homosexuality haha.

Dear Readers, this will be the very first season that has a 4th episode. Please applaud. Thanks. Now you may start to read.
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Sorry for the pause, I had to rinse thoroughly parts of my anatomy that I think may have been in contact with Copper Sulfide. Now, back to the story...

"We have a big problem.."
"I know..."
"What are we going to do?"
"I don't know..."
"I think we should just pull them out..."
"I think so too..."
Somewhere in their ridiculously large warehouse called the Hub, the girls were having a conversation. And the tendency of males (or in this case, gays) is to listen to what they're saying.
"Oh, no!" gasped Paolo. "They're, like, gonna pull us out coz we're, like, GAY!"
"Ugh," tsked Harvey. "How homophobic."
"I know! It's all your fault, kasi!"
"Eggs-key-yooz-eh-mwah?"
"Yeah! If you hadn't stopped to watch American Idle, we woudn't be in this mess!"
"That's it!" Harvey stamped his foot. "Why is it always my fault? I'm always the one being blamed for everything that happens in this house!"
"That's coz it IS your fault!"
"That! Is! It, sssssister!"
SLAP.
"Oh... NO... you... DIDN'T!"
SLAP.
"Eugh! Feel the power of my newly manicured fingernails!"
Scrrrratch.
"My face! Ugh!"
POKE.
"My eye! My eye! Hiyaaa!"
CHUG.
[Note from the Author: I'm, like, a girl so I, like, don't know how it feels to get kicked in the nuts but... just imagine that...]

The girls heard a door slam somewhere in the distance.
"Wuz goin on?" asked Annika.
They poked their heads out of the room and looked.
Then Harvey came thundering down the stairs and walked past them.
"Yo, Harvey!" called Lyca. "Where're you goin?"
"I'm leaving this place forever!" he screeched. "Nobody appreciates me, nobody notices me! I'm just a shadow to you people!"
And before he slammed the door, he shouted:
"And nobody accepts me for who I am!"
Lyca and Annika ran out to chase him.
"Tsss..." tssed Paolo coming from nowhere. "What's his problem..."
"What's up? Did you have a fight or something?" asked Ashley.
"It's his fault I'm gay!"
"So? We accept you for who you are!"
"But I wanna stay in the Weird Bunch!"
"What? You can be in the Weird Bunch and still be gay!" [NFTA: This is, like, so totally not true but I'm not, like, homophobic or anything I just don't know anybody I like thats gay--2014 EDIT: Yes, you do!]
"But... I thought you're going to pull us out because we're gay!"
"What? Why would I say that? I'm the nicest, most generous, frikkin most awesome person in the world!" [NFTA: Now THIS is true :D]
"Then what were you talking about???"
"WEEDS! We were talking about the weed infestation in our garden!"
[If you scrolled up just to see if this fits, then I have the power to control your frikkin minds bwahahaha]
"Oh..."
"C'mon! We'd better catch up with Harvey!"
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But Harvey was so far away already, by now, he already walked all the way to the city. Annika and Lyca weren't much help. They got distracted by a lemonade stand so they stopped running.
Ashley and Paolo, on the other hand, who were so brilliantly brilliant and so great, ran as fast as they could to the direction where they saw Harvey going.
"Hey..." Ashley said as she ran side-by-side with Paolo, who wasn't as brilliant nor as fast as her bwaha. "Isn't that Annika and Lyca over there buying lemonade???"
"Why, I think it is, indeed."
"Tsss... lazy frikkin sons of--"
[This is a children' story.]

By the time Ash and Pao arrived (P.S. You may not call me Ash unless I've known you for over a year and have said more than 500 words to your face. I don't know about Paolo though), it was too late. Lee had begun. Begun what you ask? Wait. I'll think of something...

Kay, I'm done thinking. This is ever so slightly gross and a little 'pleshae' but just go with the flow...

On the TV screen in the barber shop...
"Good morning/afternoon/evening! My name is Larry Queen and today/this afternoon/tonight we'll be talking about Lee's plan on world domination. So what can you tell us, Lee?"
"Well, I intentionally [pssshhh, nosebleed] joined American Idle and got rejected so that I can spread this virus that I have discovered. The Gaytaba Virus, it is unique [psssh, nb] because unlike other viruses, it is spread by hearing and only through songs. So I sang a song and spread the virus to all the judges, all the viewers, and... sigh... Ryan Oceancrest xoxo..."
"This is very unique! Thank crap I didn't watch... So what does this Gaytaba Virus do anyway?"
"Well, it enters through the ear canal, and invades all the cells, and so, I can call you... my children!"
"So what will you do with your 'children'?"
"The virus will spread to their brain cells and tell them that I am their Jumbo."
"Jumbo?"
"Leader."
"Oh. Jumbo leader?"
"No, just Jumbo."
"What if they make fun of you by calling you Dumbo instead of Jumbo?"
"Then they shall perish![psssh.. NB]"
"How? Don't you just control them?"
"I'll make them jump off a cliff or something!"
"What do you plan to do with your controlled 'children'?"
"Hehehehehe..."

"Tssss..." tssed Ashley.
"It seems to me..." began Paolo.
"It's another job for..." continued Ashley.
"The Weird Bunch!" shouted Annika and Lyca in unison. [Voc. Unison- at the same time in the same pitch]
"About time..." grumbled Paolo.
"Hey!" Ashley exclaimed.
"What?"
"I've just noticed!"
"What?"
"You're not that gay anymore!"
"Huh? Oh yeah!"
Out of nowhere, Alex and Sandee appeared.
"We know the cure! We know the cure!" said an over-excited Sandee.
"It's excercise!" said Alex.
"How did you find that out?" inquired Lyca.
"Well, we tested in on white mice." explained Alex the genius. "We exposed them to Lee's singing and when they were gay, we put a box of lipstick and a box of shaving cream in two separate ends of the room..."
"And they went to the lipstick, obviously..." continued Sandee.
"...but then when they got there..."
"They turned around and headed for the shaving cream!"
"So we came to the conclusion..."
"That by running towards the lipstick..."
"The mice sweated out the Gaytaba Virus!"
"Brilliant!" said Ashley. "Excercise is the cure!"
"Precisely! We'll go back to the Hub then..."

A magnificent lightbulb of ideas lighted upon the magnificent head of Ashley the Magnificent.
"I have a magnificent idea!"

I'm gonna stop now. So... I'll post a challenge.
Since the letter E is the most commonly used letter in the English alphabet, I challenge you to count ALL the E's in ep 2.4. If you counted correctly, add a P before it and that's how much the prize is.
P.S. It only works for the first person who gives me the answer. If he/she got it wrong, the challenge is over.
Bye~!

Ep 2.3

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!"
A few minutes after the scene, Harvey was still trying to accept the fact that he's gay.
"Its okay, Harvey," comforted Paolo. "We're here for you!"
"Yeah, we don't care if you're gay," said Ashley. "We like you for who you are inside!"
"Pfffff, yeeeeeah RIGHT..." said Lyca.
"But how can I be gay?" Harvey moaned. "I'm so macho!"
"Uh..."
"Yeah, sure..."
"Tssss..."
"Wait a second..." Harvey thought. "I was, like, in the supermarket when it, like, all started..."
FLASHBACK:
Harvey was looking around for super macho deodorant (or something...) when he walked past the tv. American Idle was starting their auditions and Harvey, knowing that idiots like to audition, stopped to watch.
"Our next auditioner will be Mr. Lee, an African native who came all the way there just to audition," said Ryan Oceancrest. "Let's see whether he's going to Hollywood.. or to Africa..."
So Mr. Lee went in front of the judges, Randy Jackdaughter, Paula Achoo and Simon Cow.
And he sang... if you don't know who Mr.Lee is, too bad, because you can NEVER imagine... how... horribly PAINFUL it is... at this part, we all just totally black out... its too horrible... lets just skip it..
And now it is time to hear what the judges think.
"Yo, dawg," said Randy. "I'm feelin' yo vibes man, but... its just not... tv material, ya feel me? So I'm gonna say... no on this one, man, sorry, dawg..."
"Ok... ok..." said Lee, hiding his tears.
"Oh, Lee..." tsk-ed Paula. "You're... a... an... a... a wonderful singer... bu... but... y..you...you're just not... not... i.. it, I'm sorry..."
"Its... o.. o..okay..." trembled Lee.
Now time for Simon Cow.
"Lee, tha' wuzz... a terribur terribur pefohmans!" he said in the English accent of his.
"What???" exclaimed Lee in a high pitched voice.
"Ah mee, seeyohslee, Leeh! Tha wuzz howibul! Ah dont think I've evah heard anything like THA befow!"
"But, it wasnt THAT horrible was it?"
"Eht wuzz! Eht wuzz, eht wuzz eht, wuzz! Tha wuzz the mows howibul theng I've evah heard! I's likhe the beckgrawnd myoozic fow the Ehnd o the wor'd!"
"... what???"
"Ugh, don' youw ghet it yhet?"
"... I dont understand what you're saying!"
"Well, nobody does, Lee," comes in Ryan Oceancrest. "Well, unfortunately, that's 3 nos... I guess you're going back to Africa, byebye!"
Harvey stared, this strange feeling rushing through him... he could feel it... it was coming...
PROOOOOOOT.
"Phew! Shouldn't have had that burrito for lunch..."
So Harvey was riding his totally awesome Porsche on the way home when he had to stop because he felt nauseous. He puked in the neighbor's yard.

"...and that's all I remember..."
"You dont remember coming in and telling me you got me a friggin' granola bar?" Paolo asked.
"Oh, yeah!" Harvey said. "And Paolo, you should really watch your figure, you don't wanna get fat, do you? Gynecoids are like, so last season!"
"Better than turning gay..."
"Well," Alex said. "I will have to watch a video of that audition."
"Okay, I'll log on to MyPipe then." Sandee said.

While Alex and Sandee were doing their stuff, Harvey was taking a shower and Paolo wanted to take one too but since the girls spend so much time in the bathroom, there was none left. So he went to tell Harvey to hurry up.
"Harvey! Hurry UP! I wanna take a bath now!"
But Harvey couldn't hear him because he was singing too loudly.
"I am BEEyootiFUL! No matter whaaaat they saaaaay..." he sang.
"Urgh," said Paolo, disgusted. "I forgot.. I'm the only boy in this house now..."
Unfortunately, Paolo decided to wait outside the bathroom forHarvey to finish. And coincidentally, the song Harvey was singing was the same song the Lee sang for American Idle!
So a few minutes later, Paolo felt nauseous himself and puked.
"Uh-oh..."

"What's up, sisTER?" asked Paolo. "Hey, aren't the Jo Bros soooooo, like, cuuuute??!!"
"Oh--" said Ashley.
"My--" said Annika.
"Grapes!" said Lyca.
"What?"
"My grapes have finally turned into raisins!" she clapped happily. "What were you saying?"
"Paolo's got the gay virus!"
"Oh no!" Lyca gasped. "Now we're all girls in the building!"
"Hey, thats a good thing!" said Annika.
"Yeah but I didn't include that in the 'Oh no' part."
"So why did you say it?"
"Why do I have to tell you every reason I say something?"
"You dont! I just dont get what the hell you're saying sometimes!"
"Can we get back to the point???" interrupted the greatest interrupter in the world, Ashley.
"Which is?"
"PAOLO'S GOT THE GAY VIRUS!"
"Why do you call it the gay virus?"
"Yeah, it could be called GAYstigma, dysGAYsima, HIGay..."
"Because its too hard to type!"
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And once again the author is getting tired... I think I'll play dota now.. byebye and good riddance!
[Edited October 20th of the year 2008, 7:38 of the clock PM. The gynecoid part was dedicated to Ms.Manio who is celebrating her __st/nd/rd/th birthday today. Gynecoid is also referred to as Gynoid. They both come from the Greek 'gyno', 'gynaikos', 'gyneco-' all combining forms meaning woman because Gynecoid Obesity is Fat distribution in a female fashion. How absurd and not to mention sexist to be only connected to the feminine race although I have seen men with this shape. Oh, and for those who answered in the Exam that Gynecoid was the apple-shape and Android was the pear-shape, you are so totally misled and I pity your ignorance. What fools walk this Earth... you are unworthy to read this blog... GET OUT! Turn off your computer and read a book or something to fill that empty coconut on your head! It is unknown to me the reason of my harsh personality on the closing hour of 7 PMof the clock. Now I have to delete this malware I got from the insanely annoying Computer Lubb...]

Ep 2.2

The Weird Bunch's next adventure!

Harvey just came home from grocery shopping.
"Omg, its like totally burrrning outside, like, right now!" he said as he fans his sweaty face.
"So what stuff did you buy?" Paolo asked.
"Well..." Harvey said happily (gayly, if I may say so myself). "I know you asked me to buy you bacon but those are like, totally fattening, so look! I got you fat-free granola bars!"
Paolo looked at Harvey in disgust.
"Why?"
"Because! Like, these days ya gotta watch for your figure! Ya know?"
"What the hell, you--!"
"Op op op! No swearing! This is a kid's story!" Harvey waggled his finger. "And you so have to, like, get rid of all that pressure! Listen, I'll take you to my spa tomorrow and I promise! It'll turn from a bulldog to a butterfly...!"
And with that, Harvey skipped off to the kitchen.
"What's up with Harvey?" asked Ashley.
"Oh, no!" realized Paolo. "I think...! I think he's...!"

"...GAY!"

Ashley Magz presents...

Episode 2.2

"Omg! Harvey's like, totally, like, GAY!"

[P.S. before you jump to conclusions, finish reading it first!]

"What will we do???"

"This is a MAJOR problem!"

"I know!"

"We've gotta interfere!"

"Yeah, but how?"

The STRAIGHT Weird Bunch were having a meeting about their dilemma. [For those vocabularily challenged, straight means not gay or not lesbo]

"But this just happened today!" observed Alex. "There must be some sort of.. Gay Virus spreading!"

"Hey, I have this book about gays, I'll go get it!" said Paolo.

And he brings out the Chronicles of the Gay Demon (Copyright ©. Property of Haku & Tenshin with cooperation of J2dmax. 2008).

"What can the book tell us?"

"It tells the history of the Gay Demon..."

"Oh..."

[For more information, please go to rosschroniclesofthegaydemon.blogspot.com ;)]

Back to the story.... (ellipsis haha)

"We have to test Harvey to see if he's really gay..." Sandee said.

"Let's begin with the most basic tests..."

So during lunch, they began their first test. They put ketchup on the table where Harvey puts his elbow (I know, its bad manners to put your elbows on the table).

"Uhm, Harv, you got some dirt on ya elbow..." said Lyca.

"Oh! Yucky!" he said and looked at his elbow... the gay-way!

The others gasped.

"What the matter?" Harvey asked.

"Nothing its just... like, what's the deal with ketchup nowadays? They're everywhere! Can't a guy get some mustard for once..."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The second test was a little more gay-defining.

"Harv... dont you think my nails looks a little dry?" Annika asked.

"Hmm? Let me see..." Harvey leaned over and looked. "Oh, gosh, no! Your nails are absolutely stunning!"

"Why, thank you! How about yours?"

"Well, I recently just got a mani pedi so.... tadaaa!" Harvey showed his nails... the gay-way!

"Oh, noooo..." groaned Annika.

"Oh, don't be so jelly!" Harvey said. "Come with me and Paolo tomorrow I'm gonna take you there! Hm?"

"Oh... I think I'll pass..."

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The third and final test was the ultimate.

"Okay," Alex said. "This is the last, final, ultimate test... if Harvey gays off at this one, he is SO totally fully gay."

"Ok."

"Are you ready?"

"Ready."

"Then lets do it."

"Harvey, tonight's movie night!"

"Oh, yay! So... what movie did you guys pick for us tonight?"

"The Notebook!"

"m'kay! Let's watch!"

At the end of the movie... the Weird Bunch were observing Harvey intently...

And then--

SNIFF. SNIFF. SOB. SOB.

It was final. Harvey... is... gay.

"Nooooooooooo!" screamed the Weird Bunch in denial.

"I know!" Harvey sobbed. "Its so sad!"

"Its not that!"

"What is it then?"

"I hate to break it to you Harvey..." said Lyca.

"It's so... sad but..." said Annika.

"YOU'RE GAY!"

"...."

o.O

[P.S. The Author has to go to SM now which is why this episode is quite, like, short. Seeya!]

Ep 2.1

*****F*****L*****A*****S*****H*****B*****A*****C*****K******

"You're such a loser!"
"Why are you even here?"
"Yeah, nobody likes you!"
"You nerd! You stink!"
These are the words Shield hears at least twice a day. She is the most unpopular girl in the whole school. Actually, the people who say these words are the unpopular ones. The cool ones dont even talk to her but they know she's the weirdest weirdo in the school.
When Shield hears these words, she just ignores them and walks away. But this doesnt always work because--
SPLAAAT.
"Eeeew, nerd! What's that on your face???"
"Oh, sorry! I must've accidentally thrown my barf-bag to your.... is that even a face???"
And the next day...
"Yucky! What's THAT??? Oh, its Shield."
"You call that hair???"
"Hey, how did you grow volcanoes on your face? Oh wait... those are pimples! LOSER!"
And the next day...
"What crawled up you and died?"
"Peeee-yooo! It smells like a Shield is coming this way!"
Every hurtful thing that can be said was being said to her every single day.
Even on weekends they shout it out as they passed her house.

Years later on graduation...
"Hey, Shield! I bet you're glad to graduate, huh? Now you can join the Nerds of the World!"
"Yeah, and the UN! Ugly Nerds!"
"You are the biggest LOSER to ever be born!"
By this time, Shield was used to all these taunts and teases. But there was one she could never forget... because it was so ouch.
"You're such a WEIRDO!"
Those words were still echoing in her head when she arrived home... she couldnt sleep... even when she was taking a shower... for months it haunted her. She didn't even apply for a job yet because of those words...
Then, as she was brushing her teeth, she wondered what was so weird about her.
I'm not weird! she thought, I do everything normal people do! I eat, I breathe, I take a bath everyday! Well... twice a week but that's good enough! I brush my teeth! I...
If there was a lightbulb in her bathroom, it would light up. But since she has no job, she has no money so she brushes in the dark. She once brushed her nose by accident... anyway back to the story!
She had this brilliant idea that would prove that she wasn't such a weirdo!
"Bwahahahaha..." she laughed evilly. "You will never call me weird ever again...!!!"
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PRESENT DAY

The Weird Bunch has decided that they will help the society by fighting evil weirdos. And their first mission was finally here.
"There have been reported robberies in the supermarkets," said Alex. "You'd better check it out."
"What's weird about that?"
"The robber didn't steal anything."
"So why is it called a robbery?"
"Dunno that's just what the police said..."
"How did they even know it was a robbery if nothing was stolen? What if nothing happened?"
"There was a broken window."
"Oh."
So the Weird Bunch went to the said supermarket and investigated. Nothing was stolen but it was obvious someone broke in.
So the brilliant Ashley had a brilliant suggestion.
"Maybe... the robber was looking for something... and it wasn't here..." she said.
"We'll just wait and see then..."
So the next day, there was another robbery but nothing was stolen again.
"You're right, Ash!" said Harvey, impressed.
"Duh, I'm always right."
So that night, they planned a trap in the remaining supermarket that wasnt robbed. At midnight they saw the robber.
"Stop in the name of... us!" said Annika.
"Us?" asked Lyca.
"Well, I cant say law because we're not policemen!"
"So? I'm not a chef but I say 'bon apetit' whenever I make you a sandwich!"
"Yeah... but those are gross..."
"What?!? You said you liked them!"
"Duh! I didnt wanna hurt your feelings!"
"But you're doing that now!"
"Oh yeah... well I didnt wanna hurt your feelings in front of everyone!"
"But everyone's here!"
"DUDES!" interrupted Ashley. "The robber's getting away!"
Indeed, as Annika and Lyca squabbled, the robber ran as fast as he/she could. And so it was up to the fastest runner, Harvey to catch him/her.
The robber turned out to be a narcissist girl. Apparently, she was the most popular girl in school and she doesn't want anyone to know that she has dandruff. And she searched on the internet that the best anti-dandruff shampoo was "Knees and Toes" but they didn't have stock in any of the supermarkets so she had to keep robbing them.
"Knees and Toes?" Paolo raised an eyebrow. [In ym, its the /:)]
"Yeah," the girl replied. "They say its way better than 'Foggy'."
"But did you try 'Foggy'?" asked Lyca.
"No, why?"
"So how do you know 'Knees and Toes' is better than 'Foggy'?"
She thought for a moment.
"... I dont..."
"So...?"
"Okay, I'll try 'Foggy' and let you know what happens!"
"Okay, what's your cell number?"
"Gimme a piece of paper, I'll write it down..."
"Are you unli?"
"Aw, no I'm Smart."
"Aw, too bad..."
"But Smart has better signal than Globe."
"Yeah but Globe has the iPhone so, like... nice.."
"Yeah, that's a good point..."
"EXCUSE ME." interrupted Harvey. "It's 12 am, I need some sleep, can we wrap this up, please?"
"Sorry," apologized Lyca. "Hey, what's your name by the way?"
"I'm Lika! You?"
"..."
(o.O)

[This episode was dedicated to Lyca, one of the only 3 readers. Dude, Lika is not you, k? I just needed something weird to write... oh, and you should be HONORED to have a dedication wahahahaha]
[This episode was, like, full of nonsense talking from Lyca hahaha...]

Ep 1.3

After giving them a sample of their poo (wonder what that would look like...)
Alex has discovered something about the giant poo.
"It seems that they cannot survive without adding more filth to themselves," Alex explained.
"So they keep adding more and more dirt to themselves and they will keep getting bigger and bigger."
"BIGGER?" Harvey complained. "They're already the size of a house!"
"The only way to stop them is to dry them up."
"How will we do that? Blow on them?"
"Sandee and I will work on a drying spray."
"We suggest you go stop them from spreading!" Sandee said.
"Eeeew, like, you want us to touch those icky things???" Lyca whined in that whiny voice she has.
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"No way. I'm not touching those things."
"Neither am I!"
Annika and Lyca don't want to go with Ashley, Harvey and Paolo because they said its "too gross".
"Hey, what happened to CJ?"
Oh yeah, CJ was still in the canal, Alex and Sandee never bothered to wonder where she went.
"I have an idea!" said the brilliant Ashley. "You two look for CJ while we stop the poo ourselves."
"Fine."
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Lyca and Annika ask around if they saw a girl with curly hair and balat and one construction guy said he knows a guy who knows a guy's cousin who has a friend whose second cousin has this friend whose son saw a girl fall down a manhole.
So the two sissy girlies--I mean, sophisticated girls, looked in every manhole they could find in Utah.
While Ashley, Harvey and Paolo, the brilliant, brave and bombacious group, were chasing to giant poop away from Detroit.
The poop went down a canal and they BRAVELY followed.
Lyca and Annika found a manhole where a kid said he saw a girl fall in.
"Why didn't you tell anyone?" demanded Annika.
"It was so funny and I was laughing so hard, I forgot it was real." he replied.
"Stupid little brat..." Lyca mumbled and glared as the boy happily skipped away. "I hope you fall into a canal..."
So the two girls went down and took out their flashlights and called out for CJ.
Meanwhile, the other three were still chasing the poop.
The two girls were walking, looking for signs of CJ.
And then the two groups met each other.
"Hey! You said you didn't want to chase the poop!"
"We weren't! We were looking for CJ!"
"CJ's here? Awww... poor girl..." sympathized the super kind Ashley.
"Didn't Alex and Sandee give her money?" asked Harvey.
"Yeah, she doesn't have to live here!" said Paolo.
"Yeah she can live with us!"
"Tsssss..." Lyca said. "She doesnt live here!"
"She fell down a canal!" said Annika.
"Oh..."
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In the meantime, let's look at what's going on with CJ.
Hmm... san na kaya sila? CJ thought. Kanina pa ko naghihintay! Gutom na gutom na ko!
She looked around.
At the end of the tunnel, she saw them approaching.
"Ah! Buti nandito na kayo!"
"Nrrrrmnrrrrmrnrmmm," replied the poop.
"Anong pagkain kinuha niyo para sakin today?" she asked.
"Nrrrmrnrrmrnrmrnm," they said... -.O
"Yum! Ang sarap! Baka naman galing sa basura ulit!"
Awww... poor CJ... but hey! Here comes the great Ashley and her friends!
"CJ! Finally nahanap ka na namin!"
"Ashley! Anong ginagawa mo dito?"
"Wait lang... kausap mo ba ung mga taeng yan?"
"Oo, bakit?"
"......"
[In YM, that would be :-&]
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After they rescued CJ from the canal (which she couldnt do herself because she didnt know how to open a manhole cover) and explained to the poop that they had to be dried up because they werent that nice to look at, CJ and the poops were exchanging a tearful farewell.
"Mamimiss ko kayo!" wept CJ. "Salamat sa pagkain!"
"Nrmrmrrrrrmmm!" the poops said, which in english means 'Thanks for your poo.'
And they hugged.
Awwwww... But nobody wanted to hug CJ coz PU! Shes smelly...
So they returned to the Hub.

While CJ was taking a shower, they reflected on their adventure.
"It's more of a MISadventure, actually," admitted Harvey.
"Yeah..."
"Why does everything weird happen to us?"
"Yeah!"
"We're a bunch of weird magnets..."
"A Weird Bunch!"
"With crazy misadventures..."

And so with that discussion, the came to be known as The Weird Bunch. And their misadventures were chronicled in the story/comic/future TV series (haha):

The Misadventures of The Weird Bunch

End of Season 1

Note from the Author: Yeah I know it's short and corny but that's all I have for now, I'm still reviewing for the exams and longtest... but hey! I always find something weird going on in school! And if you find anything weird, tell me so we can make something out of it. P.S. The thing you're waiting for, is coming very very soon... SHIELD ;)

Ep 1.2

The thing that would change the world forever...

"Why the HELL is there a STAIN on my CARPET????" screamed Harvey. "I SPENT HOURS SCRUBBING THAT!"
"Chillax, dude!" Lyca said, "It's just a carpet!"

"Yeah," Paolo said. "I'm more worried about THAT!"

Once again, they saw something that would change the world forever! Seriously.

"Nooooooooo!!! We left the charger of the cellphone plugged in!!!"

"What's the big deal?"

"It consumes a lot of energy, like, didnt you know? We totally changed the world forever, dude..."

"Seriously! Let's talk about what just happened to us!" Annika said.

"Guys... what is THAT?"

This time, I'm not kidding.

There was a trail leading to the back door... a trail... of blood.

"Okay, like, who's having their period right now, raise your hands!" said Ashley.

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On the other side of the globe, the genius Alex and her assistant and fellow genius Sandee were working on their project, the Mega-Hyper-Super-Uber Nose Picker.

"Sandee, we need more chips," Alex told her assistant.

"Ok, what flavor? Cheese, BBQ, sour cream or salt n' vinigar?"

"I meant computer chips!"

"Oh... we only have the fast chips..."

"That's ok, at least those boogers will be picked faster than yo momma can eat..."

"Oh, no, you, didnt!"

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At the presentation,

"Congratulations, Ms. Alex and Ms. Sandee," some nerd guy said. "You have won the $25,000 prize and a trip to the White House to design the most advanced weapon for the US to eliminate ***** once and for all!"

[Note: The author would like to inform you that she put asterisks (*) instead of the country which she intended to, due to 'I could, like, get killed or something, ya know?']

"Excellent! Hey, here comes CJ!"

"Hi! Wow! Congrats! Pupunta kayo sa US! Pwede ba kong sumama?"

"Sige, why not? Kita-kita tayo sa NAIA bukas, kk?"

"O cge! Bye!"

"Ano nga palang gagawin mo dun?" asked Alex.

"Magbi-beach sa California! Woooohooo!"

"Pwede ka naman mag-beach dito eh,"

"Pero siyempre, mas maraming lalaki dun!"

"Ah, loko," Sandee joked. "Cge, bye!"

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At the US, CJ split up with Alex and Sandee to go to California while they went to Washington D.C. to the White House. They planned to meet up in Utah the next day.

"Yes! Makakapag-beach nako!" CJ said excitedly. "Wow! Ang popogi ng mga lalaki!"

"Uhm, excuse me," a handsome guy came up to CJ.

"Ahh... yes?" CJ flirted.

"Can you please move? You're blocking my way."

"Ai, sorry..." CJ blushed.

Ano ba yan? she thought, ang sama-sama ng mga tao pala dito! Hai naku... pupunta na nga ao sa Utah... wala kong magagawa dito eh...

So CJ walked to the side of the road, picked up a piece of cardboard and wrote 'Utah' and waited.

After a few minutes, a truck stopped and offered her a ride to Utah. She accepted and dropped off at Utah. She then fell down a canal as she was looking for a comfort room and was nowhere to be seen for the rest of the episode.

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After the meeting, Sandee was so excited to go to Utah because that was the hometown of her idol, David Archuleta.

"Alex, Alex!" she said. "Let's hurry! I want to see David already!"

"Ok, ok, easy ka lang!"

At Utah, they went to the place which was rumored to be David Archuleta's favorite place.

Then there he was... glowing like some shiny thing in the middle of the park, his back was facing them and he was staring off into the sunset...

"DAVID!!! OMG I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!!!" Sandee ran screaming toward him.

When she reached him, she hugged him and squeaked "yeeeeeeek! you're so cuuuute!".

But how embarrassed was she when she found out it wasnt him. It was actually Harvey.

"Hey! You're not David!" Sandee accused.

"Duh," Harvey said. "What are you doing here?"

"We had a meeting with the president, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"Staring at the sunset till I was rudely interrupted by some sqeaking thing."

"Harvey!" said a surprised Alex. "Hi!"

"Hey, Alex! Maybe you can help us with something!"

"Okay, what?"

"Come with me to the Hub, we've got something to show you."

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At the Hub, the friends showed Alex and Sandee the trails of blood.

"So which one had her period?" asked Sandee.

"No one. It was just there..." said Annika.

"...after we passed out coz we pooped too hard." said Ashley.

"Hmm... I've never seen anything like this before..." said Alex. "I'll take a sample of the blood and bring it to my lab. I'll have the results by tomorrow."

"But you're lab's all the way back in the Phils."

"Oh, Alex has a lab in every country in the world." said Sandee.

"Wow..."

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The next day,

"The results say that the blood is from each of you." Alex said.

"Oh no! Boys get their periods, too???" asked Harvey.

"No!" Sandee said. "It means that you must have a cut or wound somewhere on your body!"

"But I dont see any cut or wound..."

Then Lyca had a sudden idea.

"Wait! I'm going to the bathroom!"

Pause...

... waiting...

........ almost there....

"I found it!" Lyca said.

"Where?"

"We cant see it because its on our butt!"

"Eeeewww..."

"Gross!"

"Wait!" Alex said. "So that means...!"

"What?"

"Something came out of your butts!"

"What came out?"

"I dont know!"

"Gross."

"I know!"

"We've got to find this thing!" Ashley declared.

"Why?" Paolo asked.

"Because it got out of our butts!"

"So?"

"I want it back in there! Nothing escapes my butt cage!"

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So the search began. Day after day the friends searched while Alex and Sandee made more tests to see what came out of their friends' butts.

After a few days, they finally got results in the form of a newspaper.

"Read this." Alex said.

"Giant Feces terrorizing downtown Detroit..." read Harvey. "Eyewitnesses say they have seen smelly giant 'poop' things rolling down the streets smashing cars and crushing people. 4 seriously injured and 1 dead."

"That is gross beyond all things gross..."

"Well at least we know the problem," said Sandee. "Now for the hypothesis!"

"I suggest we get a sample of your poo and--"

"What?!"

"You aint gettin' none of mah poo!"

"But we need it for testing! This may be the only way to stop those giant poos!"

The friends hesitated for a while before deciding it was for the best.

"Fine, but you're treating us to Taco Bell!"

To be continued. [coz I'm tired and its late... p.s. the story just gets weirder and weirder]

Ep 1.1

*Note: Sorry, for now I have no pictures because it's almost Exam week and I don't really have the time to draw and scan the pictures. Please use your imagination for your enjoyment. Promise, I'll draw them and put them in ASAP.
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THE MISADVENTURES

OF THE

WEIRD BUNCH

Ep. 1.1

On a frikkin hot day in the middle of the local park, a group of friends were complaining on how frikkin hot it was. This particular group consisted of Ashley, Paolo, Harvey, Annika and Lyca.

"Like, O!M!G! It's like, totally frikkin HOT in hurrrr!" exclaimed Harvey in a rather gay voice but he is, like, so totally straight.

"Yeah! Like, dude, we should go to someplace with, like, SNOW..." said Lyca.

"Yeah! Let's go to America!" said Paolo.

"... uhmm... which one?" asked Annika.

"DUH, the one with snow!" Paolo answered.

"Oh..." she said, "so... like... America's the frozen one at the bottom of the Earth, right?"

"No, that's Greenland!"

"No, dummy, Greenland's on top!"

"So then its Argentina!"

"You're all wrong! It's Alaska!"

"Wait...what're we talkin' about?..."

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On the plane, the friends were all sleeping quietly (how they could possibly afford a first class plane ticket to America or how they were even allowed on a plane without adult supervision... I have no idea, but this is just a story so don't be picky with the details!).

Not so suddenly, the captain announced something.

"Good afternoon," he said, "This is your captain, like, speaking, so shut UP and listen! We are about to go through a weird, sorta... green-ish cloud which is so, like, yuckie... but since I'm like, so tired, I don't wanna move this plane so... like... if you feel anything weird... my lawyer's away on vacation, so..."

"Hey!!!"

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A few hours later, they landed at JFK and yes, they did feel something weird.

"Ugh... I need to go to the bathroom," said Annika, rubbing her tummy.

"Uhm... okay... which hotel do you wanna stay in?" asked Ashley. "The nearest one is Holiday Outt, you want it?"

"Hmm... it sounds expensive..." said Paolo.

"So what? It's not like we use real money anway..." Lyca said in her super-high squeaky voice.

"Hey," Harvey said, "I know a now-abandoned warehouse where I used to sell--"

[Note: The author decided not to finish that sentence because it may be offensive in some way or it may influence some kids to do things their parents would probably not want them to do..]

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In the bathroom of the abandoned warehouse, which they called "The Hub" and threw out all the unwanted 'things' that Harvey used to sell, they could hear cries of pain thanks to constipation.

"Owwwwww! Urrrrgh..." cried the poor victim, Annika. "Stupid digestive system! Stop hurting me!!!"

Hearing these weird cries, Lyca (interested) paused in front of the door and knocked.

"You okay in there, dude? You sound a little sick!"

"I dunno... something's wrong with my stomach and I--"

"Oh, dude!" Lyca interrupted in a rather rude way, "We have a meeting in the living room in five minutes, don't be late!"

"Okay, see yaaaahhhrrrgh.."... pause for momentum.... PHRROOOOT pluck... pluck... spluuuurcchhh...ka-ploink!

[Note: The author would like to inform you that these sounds are supposed to be so totally gross. Please imagine appropriately.]

At the meeting, they discussed about their plans.

"We should go on a road trp! Go all around America and stuff!" suggested Harvey.

"I agree." Paolo said. "But---owwww!"

Suddenly, all of their intestines felt like they were being ripped apart by some unfriendly person who likes to rip intestines and would unlikely be a nice person.

"What the hell--?"

"Ouch! My tummy hurts!"

"Hahahaha I'm gonna poooooo...wheeeeee!"

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A few days later, the friends woke up and found themselves on the floor. They stood up and fixed their hair.

"Woah... what was that?" wondered Paolo.

"I dunno but it was soooo weird..." Ashley looked around the room. "Hmm... that's weird... I remember we pooped..."

"Not that I wanna see THAT on the floor!"

"Yeah, I know but... something came out, for sure!"

They all looked around... then Annika gasped.

Unfortunately, she gasped so hard a lot of dust got clogged up in her throat so she started coughing and choking. After a couple of thumps on the back, she resumed her sentence.

"Look! There's a trail of.... O... M... G...!"

They all looked at where she was pointing and saw something that would

change the world forever.

To Be Continued.

Introduction

Dear Readers,
For those who do not know, this blog, The Misadventures of the Weird Bunch, is a story (more of a comic, really) I made back when I was in the 6th Grade. Back then, the story mainly revolves around the lives of the ff people: Me!, Paolo, Harvey, Imma, Tom, etc. But now, the story keeps alternating between many people, mostly my classmates/batchmates. And before anybody reads this,

please take note that:
-Resemblance or similarity to any real person is unintentional
-This is, like, totally, like, COPYRIGHTED! So, like, dont, like, STEAL IT or I'll, like, sue you!
-Comments/suggestions/opinions are welcome but I DO NOT LIKE IT when people ask to put THEMSELVES into the comic, you're, like, so feeling!
-Criticism is also welcome but be prepared! I'm not responsible for the things my fists do

Ashley Magz would like to thank:
the back of my Gr.6 English Quiz notebook (it's where it all began...)
OBMCI Calligraphy Paper (where it improved)
Colleen
Mongol Pencils (#2)
My friends who make suggestions
My awesome drawing skills! !~Weh~!

Be posting soon!

© Ashley Magz Industries 2008